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Cursed Thoughts

Cursed thoughts shared in discussions that is ridiculous and absurd in nature that it became a meme. Usually about popular characters and people.


r/ratemypoo is an absolute JOKE.

    r/ratemypoo is an absolute JOKE. How is one supposed to accurately rate a poo merely by the picture of it?

Does a candle connoisseur judge a candle based on it's appearance alone, without giving it a sniff? Does a food critic write their review purely on the merit of the aesthetic of the plating of the dish, without tasting? Does a sculptor select clay for what is to be a priceless piece of art without first feeling its texture and density?

No.

So how am I ever to fairly "rate your poo" if I do not experience your poo with a variety of senses. Just going off a picture I will miss out on many things about your poo: the nutty and oaky hints in it's scent. I would never know its sweet flavor, yet acidic after taste. I would miss your poos sticky, almost stretchy texture.

I would miss all of those qualities in your poo, and countless other subtleties invisible to the eye. All I would have to go off of is the picture of it floating cheerlessly in it's porcelain pool, waiting to be mercilessly whisped into the unknown of the pipes. How am I supposed to feel good giving such a soulless, uninformed rating of your poo?

    This is a pasta protected by the Spanish Inquisition.

      Long  ago in the land of Minecraft I noticed that the ink sacs were spelled  sac, instead of sack, I got confused and googled it, I discovered that a  sac is just an organic sack, part of an animal or whatnot, and now  multiple years later, I’m coming to the realisation ball sacks shouldn’t  be called ball sacks, they should be called ball sacs, a ball sack would be a man-made sack containing balls

This is a pasta protected by the Spanish Inquisition, you are not allowed to repost this

Got banned for false reasons, you all deserve to die, fuck the administrators, fuck Reddit, fuck it all

      Wiping your ass for the hundredth time and still having poop hurts more than a breakup

        I am currently sitting on the toilet and finished taking a shit, and now I have wiped my ass for the 600th time already and have used up half the roll.

This shit hurts more than a breakup, why do girls complain about breakups when this is a much bigger problem? My ass literally stings like crazy and it feels like im wiping with sandpaper now, AND THE AMOUNT OF FUCKING POOP DIDN'T WENT DOWN AT ALL AFTER WIPING A BILLION FUCKING TIMES!!

        Americans are immune to bullet wounds.

          In America, we’ve all been shot so many times, that most of us have built up an immunity to bullet wounds. It’s now hereditary, actually, because only people who can survive being shot live long enough to reproduce. Natural selection and all that. Some Americans have built up an immunity so high that they can easily walk way from a direct hit from a cannon ball. These individuals are considered “real, red blooded, Americans” and receive a certificate of authentication.

This is also where the phrase “come and take it” comes from. A group of Americans endured a volley of cannon fire and they managed to catch 95% of the balls shot. They then hoisted the cannon balls into the air and taunted the invading army by encouraging them to come retrieve their ammunition and try again.

          Dried cum is the hardest thing known to man.

            Due to extensive research done by the University of r/CummysCult dried cum has been confirmed as the hardest thing known to man. The research is as follows:

Pocket-protected scientists built a wall made of iron and crashed a dried drop of cum into it at 400 miles per hour, and the cum was unharmed. They then built a wall out of dried cum and crashed a car made of iron moving at 400 miles an hour into the wall, and the wall of cum came out fine. They then crashed a dried cum car made of 400 miles per hour into a wall, and there were no survivors. They crashed 400 miles per hour into a cum traveling at iron car. Western New York was powerless for hours. They rammed a wall made of metal into 400 miles an hour made of cum, and the resulting explosion shifted earths orbit 400 million miles away from the sun, saving the earth from a meteor the size of a small Washington suburb that was hurtling towards mid-western Prussia at 400 billion miles an hour. They shot a cum made of iron at a car moving at 400 walls per hour, and as a result caused over 10000 wayward planes to lose track of their bearings, and make a fatal crash with over 10000 buildings in downtown New York. They spun 400 miles at dried cum into iron per wall. The results were inconclusive. Finally, they placed 400 cum per hour in front of a car made of wall travelling at miles per iron, and the result proved with out a doubt that dried cum were the hardest thing of all time, if not just the hardest cum known to man.

[EDIT: Guys! Thank you so much! You guys made my day so much better with these 3k upvotes, I’m literally happier now :)]

            If being goth is a crime…

              If being goth is a crime then arrest me for the murder of 3 people please god someone stop me this isn't a joke this is a literal cry for help please make the voices stop they keep asking me for more and more and I just want it all to go away sweet jesus help me