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Cursed Thoughts

Cursed thoughts shared in discussions that is ridiculous and absurd in nature that it became a meme. Usually about popular characters and people.


So disappointed in the new Animal Crossing…

    Last night after my gay sex session I decided to turn on my Nintendo Switch™ and play some Animal Crossing: New Horizons™. I was trying to progress as quickly as possible so I can see Isabelle on my 4k 60 inch TV. I was catching bugs to give to Blathers, because Blathers is a bitch who is scared of bugs, until I couldn’t believe my eyes.

I caught...

A Monarch Butterfly.

A MONARCH Butterfly!

I threw my Pro Controller™ right at my TV and screamed in absolute horror.

Is that a fucking political word I see? Why the fuck is there a MONARCH Butterfly? What the fuck is Nintendo™ trying to do putting their right-wing ideals in their games? Wasn’t Animal Crossing™ supposed to a peaceful game? It surely can’t be when they stuff their political cocks down our throats. Why isn’t there a Marxist Butterfly? I’m in pure shock that Nintendo™ will go to such lengths to brainwash people into agreeing with their political values. I am never buying a Nintendo™ game again, until they formally apologize to me admitting that it was wrong to promote political ideals in their games.

    I can’t wait any longer for Isabelle’s pussy.

      Holy fucking shit. There are less than 2 days left until animal crossing comes out on the switch and I can't wait any longer. I need to see Isabelle in 1080P HD 60FPS, and I need to see her NOW. Not only is she the love of my life, but I fucking need more rule 34 of her. There is nothing more fucking hot than Isabelle, and the new game's release will (If my calculations are correct) cause a massive flood of new Isabelle rule 34. I have harassed everyone I've found with an early copy, and I've tried to convince them to give it to me in every way I know. That includes offering my mum's credit card (that's fucking revenge for trying to take away my 3DS you bitch), death threats, begging, and other typically effective means. So if anyone has an early copy, please give it to me. I physically cannot wait any longer for Isabelle.

Please.

      r/ratemypoo is an absolute JOKE.

        r/ratemypoo is an absolute JOKE. How is one supposed to accurately rate a poo merely by the picture of it?

Does a candle connoisseur judge a candle based on it's appearance alone, without giving it a sniff? Does a food critic write their review purely on the merit of the aesthetic of the plating of the dish, without tasting? Does a sculptor select clay for what is to be a priceless piece of art without first feeling its texture and density?

No.

So how am I ever to fairly "rate your poo" if I do not experience your poo with a variety of senses. Just going off a picture I will miss out on many things about your poo: the nutty and oaky hints in it's scent. I would never know its sweet flavor, yet acidic after taste. I would miss your poos sticky, almost stretchy texture.

I would miss all of those qualities in your poo, and countless other subtleties invisible to the eye. All I would have to go off of is the picture of it floating cheerlessly in it's porcelain pool, waiting to be mercilessly whisped into the unknown of the pipes. How am I supposed to feel good giving such a soulless, uninformed rating of your poo?

        This is a pasta protected by the Spanish Inquisition.

          Long  ago in the land of Minecraft I noticed that the ink sacs were spelled  sac, instead of sack, I got confused and googled it, I discovered that a  sac is just an organic sack, part of an animal or whatnot, and now  multiple years later, I’m coming to the realisation ball sacks shouldn’t  be called ball sacks, they should be called ball sacs, a ball sack would be a man-made sack containing balls

This is a pasta protected by the Spanish Inquisition, you are not allowed to repost this

Got banned for false reasons, you all deserve to die, fuck the administrators, fuck Reddit, fuck it all

          Wiping your ass for the hundredth time and still having poop hurts more than a breakup

            I am currently sitting on the toilet and finished taking a shit, and now I have wiped my ass for the 600th time already and have used up half the roll.

This shit hurts more than a breakup, why do girls complain about breakups when this is a much bigger problem? My ass literally stings like crazy and it feels like im wiping with sandpaper now, AND THE AMOUNT OF FUCKING POOP DIDN'T WENT DOWN AT ALL AFTER WIPING A BILLION FUCKING TIMES!!

            Americans are immune to bullet wounds.

              In America, we’ve all been shot so many times, that most of us have built up an immunity to bullet wounds. It’s now hereditary, actually, because only people who can survive being shot live long enough to reproduce. Natural selection and all that. Some Americans have built up an immunity so high that they can easily walk way from a direct hit from a cannon ball. These individuals are considered “real, red blooded, Americans” and receive a certificate of authentication.

This is also where the phrase “come and take it” comes from. A group of Americans endured a volley of cannon fire and they managed to catch 95% of the balls shot. They then hoisted the cannon balls into the air and taunted the invading army by encouraging them to come retrieve their ammunition and try again.