💅That nail-painting emoji enrages me to an unnecessary level. It's the epitome of sassy, entitled, bitchiness and I only ever see it used in that sense. "OMG just cheated on my man hahahaha fuck everyoneee 💅"
Fine sire, that quite the shapely shaft thou hast betwixt thine legs! Thine bollocks hangeth but a sliver to the east, with a perplexing bend, akin to the archways of camelot. Thou hast past the cock trifle quite eloquently, o knight of brettonia. But now the king craveth but a drop of thine heavenly juices! Royal fellatio shalt be administered sire!
I think my boss might be a communist. So a while ago, I got my first paycheck at a fast food place. I guess it wasn't too bad, but I did the math and figured out that I sold a lot more food than I got paid for, even when you account for the price of the food. When I tried to talk to him about it, he said we're all part of one big team, but some people get paid more than others. This is suspiciously close to the famous quote: "some are more equal than others" from my favourite book, Animal Farm and is what got me thinking about this. We make money, and then he takes it and gives it to someone else who doesn't even work! I'm no economist, but this is textbook socialism. I think I've come to the conclusion that the best way for me to combat these socialistic businesses practices would be teaming up with my fellow workers unify out power and demonstrate that we understand the full value of our labour. Anyone else have similar experiences with obviously Marxists bosses before, or any other advice??
I just fucking love Rick and Morty, in the way that I fucking love
science. It's so random and cool - it's like the show was designed for
us Redditors, see? My mom says I have an unhealthy obsession with the
show, but she just doesn't understand how funny it. I wish I could live
in the Rick and Morty world and be their friends. Everything would be
really and cool and funny if I did. Rick and Morty are so funny and I'm
so awesome that it would make perfect sense, but it'd be even better if
Bernie Sanders appeared. It'd be so awesome I'd turn up the TV in the
common room of my dorm up all the way so everyone could hear the
greatness of Bernie Sanders, Ron Paul, bacon, weed, atheism, The
Avengers, Guardians of the Galaxy, Sweden, Bill Nye, 90s cartoons, cats,
and fucking loving science.
I run the Rick and Morty Club at my school - we come together, browse
Reddit, make some Deadpool memes and watch Rick and Morty. We don't
talk to each other but there's a cute girl there I'm gonna try and ask
out. I'm a nice guy and I dress well (fedora + trench coat +
brown-stained underwear + well-trimmed beard lightly seasoned with dust
and corn syrup) so I just know I've got a good chance with her. I've
already messaged her on Facebook, I just haven't got a response yet.
Anyway, back to the topic at hand: Rick and Morty! My favorite
character is Rick because his style of humor perfectly reflects that of
Reddit. I bet if I asked him "When does the narwhal bacon?", he'd know
EXACTLY what I was talking about. Also, did you notice he looks like
Bernie Sanders if you squint a bit and use your imagination? This can't
be a coincidence; MLG Illuminati confirmed. Yeah, that's right, I look
at montage parodies too. What good Redditor doesn't? Lenny face,
Illuminati, and Doge are so funny. If I met Rick and Morty I'd be sure
to show them all those funny and awesome memes and more!
Hah, I'm lying if I were to say it wouldn't be hot if a girl were to magically able to grow a penis and let me jerk her off then it disappears when she cums. I'm not gay but I feel that an erect penis is the best sign someone is aroused, how hot would it be to meet her or a girl you have a crush on and she blushes and pops a huge boner and has to cover it up with her purse and you can tell the pressure of holding it down with her purse is making her even more aroused.