I just fucking love Rick and Morty, in the way that I fucking love
science. It's so random and cool - it's like the show was designed for
us Redditors, see? My mom says I have an unhealthy obsession with the
show, but she just doesn't understand how funny it. I wish I could live
in the Rick and Morty world and be their friends. Everything would be
really and cool and funny if I did. Rick and Morty are so funny and I'm
so awesome that it would make perfect sense, but it'd be even better if
Bernie Sanders appeared. It'd be so awesome I'd turn up the TV in the
common room of my dorm up all the way so everyone could hear the
greatness of Bernie Sanders, Ron Paul, bacon, weed, atheism, The
Avengers, Guardians of the Galaxy, Sweden, Bill Nye, 90s cartoons, cats,
and fucking loving science.
I run the Rick and Morty Club at my school - we come together, browse
Reddit, make some Deadpool memes and watch Rick and Morty. We don't
talk to each other but there's a cute girl there I'm gonna try and ask
out. I'm a nice guy and I dress well (fedora + trench coat +
brown-stained underwear + well-trimmed beard lightly seasoned with dust
and corn syrup) so I just know I've got a good chance with her. I've
already messaged her on Facebook, I just haven't got a response yet.
Anyway, back to the topic at hand: Rick and Morty! My favorite
character is Rick because his style of humor perfectly reflects that of
Reddit. I bet if I asked him "When does the narwhal bacon?", he'd know
EXACTLY what I was talking about. Also, did you notice he looks like
Bernie Sanders if you squint a bit and use your imagination? This can't
be a coincidence; MLG Illuminati confirmed. Yeah, that's right, I look
at montage parodies too. What good Redditor doesn't? Lenny face,
Illuminati, and Doge are so funny. If I met Rick and Morty I'd be sure
to show them all those funny and awesome memes and more!
Hah, I'm lying if I were to say it wouldn't be hot if a girl were to magically able to grow a penis and let me jerk her off then it disappears when she cums. I'm not gay but I feel that an erect penis is the best sign someone is aroused, how hot would it be to meet her or a girl you have a crush on and she blushes and pops a huge boner and has to cover it up with her purse and you can tell the pressure of holding it down with her purse is making her even more aroused.
Steve Harvey: "We asked 100 people, what is the male reproductive organ?" Contestant: "The penis" SH: "A WUH... HUH??" audience erupts into laughter Steve Harvey grabs onto podium to support himself laughter gets even louder SH: O lordy... one man goes into cardiac arrest and many others begin vomiting profusely from laughing too hard SH: YOU PEOPLE NEED HELP the Earth shatters and Satan rises from the underworld to claim unworthy souls the universe begins rapidly closing in on itself SH: (putting on a weary voice) Survey says... the board shows 100 for "penis" Harvey is able to get off one more shocked look before existence as we know it comes to an end
Commit suicide by banging the minecraft creeper so goddamn bad. I can't stand it anymore. Every time I go to the mine shaft I get a massive erection. I've seen literally every rule 34 post there is of it online. My dreams are nothing but constant fucking sex with Creeper-chan. I'm sick of waking up every morning with six nuts in my boxers and knowing that those are nuts that should've been busted inside of Creeper's tight TNT storage compartment. I want her to have my mutant Steve/creeper babies. Fuck, the fucking villagers caught me with their Iron Golem. I'd dressed it in grass blocks and went to fucking town. They've set up an embargo for my trading with them and I'm worried they're gonna take away my pickaxe. I might not ever get to see creepers again.
If you do porn and have have vanilla sex on camera for money, you're just a regular chick whose sex videos are on the internet.
I'm so sorry that I hold the title of "pornstar" to a modicum of professionalism.
If I predict the weather for the next week and upload it to YouTube that doesn't make me a fuckin' meteorologist.
I had a girlfriend in 11th grade highschool that was a dirtier slut than some of these bitches calling themselves pornstars. "I don't do anal I just have done 250 videos for Brazzers because I look 16 years old" is lame af. Get some fucking self respect for yourself and step your games up.
And for fucks sake all you pretty bitches-- work on your head game. You're not exempt from getting better at sucking dick because you're pretty. Some Little Caprice looking girl is sucking 4" of a 16" horsecock and the dudes in the comments are like OMG BEST BJ IN HISTORYYYYYY. Motherfucker what.
