I have a Grinch fetish. My boyfriend knows about this and for the most part accepts it. He isn't crazy about it and doesn't really get it but he at least tries which is all I ask. He'll sometimes read the book to me to set the mood, or if he's really feeling kinky tell me "You're a mean one" in the heat of the moment. He's even begrudgingly come around to at least playing one of the three versions of the film every time we do the deed (although we tend to stay away from the live-action one because it's too much for me).
The thing is, I don't want to hear about the Grinch or listen to the Grinch or watch the Grinch. I want to be fucked by the Grinch. And for the record this is common among women. The Grinch's bulging sack of toys to me (and many others) is what a Mack truck is to Cardi B. The fact that he's good with dogs and experienced trauma at a young age makes me want that long, fuzzy dick even more.
My boyfriend asked me what I wanted for Christmas and I told him straight up. I told him to put on the greenest, silkiest Grinch costume he could find, kidnap me from my bed on Christmas Eve, and then ravage me in front of the Christmas tree.
He flat out refused. Said it was too weird for him. I was literally begging this man to let this pussy save Christmas and he was like nah, I'm good. It ended up turning into a fight where he admitted he only gave into my initial Grinch kinks to placate me and was still uncomfortable about the fact that I had moaned "Grinch" during sex a few weeks ago, but only because his song was playing in the background.
So he's drawn a line. And if I don't drop the Grinch fetish (which as I said is incredibly common among women but sadly taboo) he's done for good. I don't want to lose him over this. But it's really hard for me to see past my sexual proclivities especially during Christmas season. Is there any way we can even compromise on this, or do I simply need a more adventurous man?
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You know how some people say that math is “mental abuse to humans”? Well, lemme tell you one thing: “Math” is an abbreviation for “mathematics”, so you’re only looking at 36% of the whole thing. What does the other 64% stand for? It stands for “except mostly at truly intelligently cool students”! That means, if you think math is mentally abusing you, you’re not truly intelligent or cool! You’re dumb and lame! So the next time someone gives you the first 36% of this ridiculous acronym, give them the other 64%. Don’t forget to tell them that they suck at etymology.
What happened next might seem like it happened over a long time however all of these events only occurred in 6 milliseconds. FIRST all men in the world simultaneously ejaculated a jet stream of cum causing mass floods all over the world. SECOND All of the women in the world simultaneously and spontaneously combusted and ceased to exist. THIRD Pokimane became the queen of the world, and was given the key to earth, and all males had to bow down to her. FOURTH Pokimane made sure all the males in the entire world would impregnate her. FIFTH The earths population rose back to 7.8 billion, every single person of the female gender was an essential copy of Pokimane. And that is how 2020 would end.
I wish I lived in a dystopian universe where males don't age physically past 10, and the chance of being born male was so astronomically low that ejaculate was the rarest and most valuable commodity, and women were hyperdeveloped Ara Ara MILFs with libidos that pornstars can't even pretend to emulate, and having sex once a day was considered abusively low. And that, when born, males are taken, raised, and ranked, and given to elite, high class families of women to breed with and extract cum for the health of society. Oh, but even though it's so valuable and rare, semen isn't actually that viable, so reproduction is already near civilization-endingly low So regular semen drainage is a given. Males can expect to be brought to orgasm no less than 10-20 times a day. Being awoken to the feeling of a vacuum cleaner on your dick and opening your eyes to find the maid's mouth tightly sealed around your cock, even though it is strictly forbidden for a woman to have sex with a male not assigned to her family is not uncommon. Masturbation of course is extremely illegal for males but due to being small and weak, it's usually just punished with re-education. Except for being literal cum-slaves, males are treated like high class second class citizens, So like a medieval princess.
Bring your chin down to protect your neck while continuing to stare in his eyes. Bring up your hands and say "I don't want no trouble ya hear". Flex your traps and core. Slightly bend your knees.
Here comes the important part. In a low voice begin to say "wolowolowolowolowolo" slowly increasing in volume. He should be surprised by now. Begin to sway side to side and loosen all facial muscles and your anal sphincter and your kegal muscle. By now you should be pretty loud and your opponent will have stepped back and appear visibly shaken.
Begin to piss and shit yourself and let your eyes roll to the back of your head. By now, you're chanting "WOLOWOLOWOLOWOLO" at the top of your lungs.
He will run away. Everyone within a one mile radius will feel a terrifying presence within their soul.
Marvel as you ascend into your planar form.
