T-pose! Sorry, I was just asserting my dominance... So you’re new here, right? Heh, I’ve noticed you’re a bit small there, you’re a little bit of a quiet potato. Me, I’m a big Chungus as you can see. Yeah, I’m in the band, uh, I play trumpet. Yeah and maybe a little bit of trombone, y’know? If I’m feeling it, yeah? Do you go on reddit? Do you like Rick and Morty? Me too! Do you watch callmecarson? oh really? That's pretty poggers wholesome of you. My favorite video game is cyberpunk, becuase keanu reeves is in it. ..You don't know who that is? Not very epic of you. No no, its ok. I wont get too mad at you, my princess. Yeah uh, wanna join my discord? Yeah that's right, mine. I am a moderator after all. My nickname on discord is daddy, so you should call me that too. You can be my kitten, too! hey wait it's just a joke haha r/wosh wow you can't even take a joke.Hahaha, unless? Anyways do you like anime? My favorite is corey in the house or shrek. Yeah, came up with that one myself. Im pretty funny huh.Oh, you like naruto? Thats pretty normie cringe. If you really knew your stuff, you'd watch 私の肛門が脱出している聖なるたわごと救急車を呼んでください. yeah that's right, i can speak japanese. I can speak 5- no, 6 other languages, but i dont want to brag too much. So uh, haha wouldn't it be funny if you sent me a picture of ur feet as a prank? Man i sure would hate that. That would be awful. hahaha please dont. Wow, look at my phone! 69%! Haha nice. "Thanks for the gold kinda stranger" haha you use reddit right? No? It's alright. You should get it though. Wowww youre downloading reddit on your phone? r/foundthemobileuser much. Hahaha i also choose this guy's dead wife. Nonono wait its like a meme wow rwoosh again
Well anyways, ive got to get back to class. You should join the anime club! You're alright, for a woman. haha r/latervirgins amirite
CMV: If Catholics believe nuns are married to Christ, and bread is the body of Christ, nuns should be allowed to have sex with bread.
This assumes the bread is consecrated, as in the eucharist. As I see it, if Catholics believe that: Sex within marriage is allowed, but outside of marriage is sinful; Nuns are married to Christ; The eucharist transubstantiates into the literal body of Christ; then it follows that they should be able to have sex with said bread.
The only possible counterexample I can think of is that procreation is impossible via sex with bread, but, from some Googling, it appears that Catholics are still able to have sex within marriage after conception is no longer possible (i.e., post-menopause) as long as they do not actively try and prevent conception (source here). I can't imagine an objection based on non-monogamy given the inherent non-monogamy of all nuns being married to Christ.
Please change my view, this thought is haunting me.
Who else pretends their penis is a gear shift lever when it gets hard and pretends to shift from Reverse to 1st gear, 2nd gear, 3rd gear, 4th gear, and finally 5th gear?
Usually when my penis gets hard I’d just masturbate it off but recently I’ve just been getting tired of masturbating. It just not the same anymore. It puts me right to sleep, gets cum all over me, and I just been feeling miserable and dirty after it.
Now, my alternative has been pretending it is a gear shift lever on a manual car. It can be pretty funny.
I seriously hope I’m not the only one.
WARNING: YOU IT’S EASY TO HURT YOUR PENIS WHILE PRETENDING IT’S A GEAR SHIFT LEVER. REPLICATE THIS PRACTICE ONLY AT YOUR OWN RISK.
Holy fucking shit. I want to bang the Jackie Chan Cookie so goddamn bad. I can't stand it anymore. Every time I go to the Facebook I get a massive erection. I've seen literally every rule 34 post there is of him online. My dreams are nothing but constant fucking sex with Jackie Chan Cookie. I'm sick of waking up every morning with six nuts in my boxers and knowing that those are nuts that should've been busted inside of Jackie Chan Cookie tight chocolate chip pussy. I want him to have my mutant human/cookie babies.
Fuck, my fucking mom caught me with the neighbors oven. I'd baked cookies in it and went to fucking town. She hasn't said a word to me in 10 hours and I'm worried she's gonna take away my phone. I might not ever get to see Jackie Chan Cookie again.
A gap between the thighs, emptiness. A blank space where there should be something to fill the void, but there's nothing.
Then a slit as if someone snipped the flesh with scissors. This gooey mess once it's widened just a little bit. It looks painful and infected, flesh rubbing on flesh, a mouth without teeth.
I don't understand it but something deep in me desires it and wants nothing more than to taste and touch it with every sensory instrument I own.
Basically i was fucking my hamster, like i usually do, but i forgot to pull out. the hamster had cum leaking from it's eyes and mouth. then it exploded. i felt no remorse. am i a psychopath?
