I will cum on anything. Hire me.
I will ejaculate on any item or living being. DM for bookings.
I will cum on or in anything you want. Prices are negotiable but depend on if I need to travel or if there's any risk on said person you want me to cum on.
My loads are average, I don't have porn star balls. If you want a massive load you will have to pay extra so I don't cum for a few days.
ETHICS: There are no boundaries, I will cum on your grandma, grandkids or dead fathers ashes.
Alright alright but can we just talk about how one of the colours is orange? I mean, blue, red, green, yellow, all unique and kinda contrasty, but fucking orange? Seriously? First of all orange is an irrelevant ass colour that nobody even knows as "orange", we all call it "red 2" anyways. And like how about a white recruit how about idk maybe any other colour that's not literally the same as the one before because bro who thought pf that like who thought "yeah lets put some red and yeah lets put some yellow and woops guess the next one's orange" like WTF MAN ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS MAN ARE YOU KIDDING ME LIKE BRO WTF MAN YOU DONT EVEN NEED SOME COLOURBLINDNESS SHIT TO NOT BE ABLE TO SEE THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THOSE FUCKERS LIKE MAN WHAT ARE YOU THST YOU THINK YEAH RED AND ORANGE EVERYONE WILL BE ABLE TO SEE THE DIFFERENCE LIKE NO YOU DIPSHIT LITERALLY NO ONE SEES THE FUCKING DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THOSE TWO EXCEPT FOR YOU STUPID FUCKER WITH YOUR MAGIC FUCKING GLASSES LIKE BITCH WHAT ARE YOU LIKE WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE TO LET US ALL SUFFER WITH THESE TWO NEARLY IDENTICAL COLOURS WHILE YOU SEE EVERYTHING PERFECTLY WHAT IS THIS MAN WHO. THE FUCK. ARE YOU. BRO WHY THE FUCK DID YOU CHOOSE FUCKING ORANGE IT'S LIKE THE WORST COLOUR THERE IS AND NOTHING MAKES SENSE HERE LIKE ORANGE WOULDNT EVEN FIT THERE IF THE REST OF THE COLOURS LOOKED DIFFERENT BECAUSE ORANGE ISNT A REAL FUCKING COLOUR IT'S NOT AS STRONG AS THE REST IT'S JUST A SECONDARY COLOUR THAT IS BASICALLY A BITCH ASS REMAKE OF A COOL FUCKING COLOUR AND NOT EVEN A COLOUR ON IT'S OWN THAT'S LIKE HAVING THE AQUAMARINE RECRUIT AND ALSO THE SUNNYSKY RECRUIT OR LIKE SUNSET RED AND REDWINE RED YOU SEE WHAT I'M TRYING TO SAY LIKE YEAH MAN THIS SHIT IS FUCKING RETARDED IT HURTS MY EYES WHO THE FUCK THOUGHT OF THIS IT DOESNT MAKE ANY SENSE I WANT TO DIE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
I just want Kamala to tread on my face with those sensual, presidential feet.
Oh my god, can you imagine them bound within silky stockings of the finest quality the United States treasury can buy.
Fuck, I would do anything to be her pitiful fucking cum slave. She could chain me under her desk in the Oval Office and I would suckle the nectar from her presidential rose until my stomach literally tears itself apart.
My blood and mucus and shit and cum would all mix together and soak into Oval Office's carpet, to be trodden upon by President Kamala's divinely blessed feet long after my broken corpse has been unceremoniously dumped in the Atlantic by my mocha colored queen and her Secret Service bulls.
Fucking women is pretty gay if you think about it. They are usually smaller and weaker. It takes a real man to fuck a jacked gymbro brick shithouse of a man.
I fucking hate Wobbuffet with a burning passion. Which dingus thought giving it both Shadow Tag, Encore and Destiny bond was a good idea? It's so frustrating playing Showdown and trying to sweep only for this big blue dildo to suddenly jump on screen and prevent you from switching out because of Shadow Tag. You're forced to watch as its stupid poker face traps you in a loop of status moves so when it reflects your attacks it's guaranteed to obliterate your heaviest hitter like it thinks it's Exodia or something while it screams "WOBBUFUCKINGFFET!". God damnit I hate this thing.
T-pose! Sorry, I was just asserting my dominance... So you’re new here, right? Heh, I’ve noticed you’re a bit small there, you’re a little bit of a quiet potato. Me, I’m a big Chungus as you can see. Yeah, I’m in the band, uh, I play trumpet. Yeah and maybe a little bit of trombone, y’know? If I’m feeling it, yeah? Do you go on reddit? Do you like Rick and Morty? Me too! Do you watch callmecarson? oh really? That's pretty poggers wholesome of you. My favorite video game is cyberpunk, becuase keanu reeves is in it. ..You don't know who that is? Not very epic of you. No no, its ok. I wont get too mad at you, my princess. Yeah uh, wanna join my discord? Yeah that's right, mine. I am a moderator after all. My nickname on discord is daddy, so you should call me that too. You can be my kitten, too! hey wait it's just a joke haha r/wosh wow you can't even take a joke.Hahaha, unless? Anyways do you like anime? My favorite is corey in the house or shrek. Yeah, came up with that one myself. Im pretty funny huh.Oh, you like naruto? Thats pretty normie cringe. If you really knew your stuff, you'd watch 私の肛門が脱出している聖なるたわごと救急車を呼んでください. yeah that's right, i can speak japanese. I can speak 5- no, 6 other languages, but i dont want to brag too much. So uh, haha wouldn't it be funny if you sent me a picture of ur feet as a prank? Man i sure would hate that. That would be awful. hahaha please dont. Wow, look at my phone! 69%! Haha nice. "Thanks for the gold kinda stranger" haha you use reddit right? No? It's alright. You should get it though. Wowww youre downloading reddit on your phone? r/foundthemobileuser much. Hahaha i also choose this guy's dead wife. Nonono wait its like a meme wow rwoosh again
Well anyways, ive got to get back to class. You should join the anime club! You're alright, for a woman. haha r/latervirgins amirite
