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Cursed Thoughts

Cursed thoughts shared in discussions that is ridiculous and absurd in nature that it became a meme. Usually about popular characters and people.


How Achilles really died

    In Greek mythology, Achilles was a hero of the Trojan War.
    I just read a story about a girl from the Trojan war named Bofidie who was a pecan saleswoman. Apparently, when Achilles was storming the castle after letting his troops in, Bofidie saw him coming and dumped her pecans on the ground in his path before she went to go hide. When Achilles walked through, he slipped on the pecans and fell, which let Paris make the shot that hit Achilles' Achilles tendon. So while Paris may have gotten the final blow, Achilles was really killed by Bofidie's nuts.

    I sexually Identify as an overused sexually identification copypasta.

      I sexually Identify as an overused sexually identification copypasta. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of spamming other users with my unfunny wall of text. People say to me that a person who does this is a laughable idiot and I'm fucking retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I'm having these words glued all over my body. From now on I want people to refer to me as an overused sexually identification copypasta as my preferred pronouns and respect my right to paste unfunny sexually identification copypastas to reddit in hope of receiving virtual internet points. If you can't accept me you're funny and mentally stable and need to check your choice of subreddits. Thank you for being so understanding.

      Change LGBTQ+ to LAGBITCH

        innovative, phenomenal, revolutionary, brilliant
        Lesbian, Asexual, Gay, Bisexual, Intersex, Trans, Cis, and Hetero. (The Q is silent)

I think this improves on the initials, on a number of levels:

  1.  you can pronounce it instead of saying a list of letters, which is getting more and more lengthy

  2.  includes Ace and Intersex people, who both need a hug, so come on

  3.  includes Cis and Hetero, which reduces bisexual erasure and gatekeeping, and increases allyship.

  4.  it's fun to say. "Are you a LAGBITCH?" "Why, yes, yes I am. Aren't we all?" ... "Indeed."

Thoughts?

        Instead of saying ACAB

          When the cops are sus 😳😳😳😳😳😳😳
          Instead of saying ACAB(all cops are bastar*ds) we should start saying ACAS(all cops are sus). Think about it, it's less offensive and it only shows that we think that a cop might be sus(suspicious) of something but not necesseraly guilty of it. It's the same thing in the popular game amogus with thinking that all red players are impostors really. This might sound stupid but hear me out. Statistically, every player regardless of their color has the same chance of being the impostor, yet, there is this social stigma that only red players are impostors. However, players of Amugus have developed this great system that will help them show their suspicion on someone without saying that they are the impostor(in case that they actually aren't). They say that someone is 'sus' so nobody gets their feelings hurt. We can apply this knowledge to the real world, right? If everyone can be an impostor in amongsus, regardless of their color, so can anyone be a bastard in real world, regardless of their task(job as some low inteligence individuals might call it).

          Capitalism ruined cum

            How do people come up with stuff like this?
            The taste of cum has been ruined by capitalist diets. Garlic, onions, broccoli, cabbage, leafy greens, asparagus, meat, dairy products, alcohol, tobacco and other drugs are all known to make cum taste worse. Celery, parsley, wheatgrass, cinnamon, nutmeg, pineapple, papaya, and oranges are known to improve sperm taste. Proper hygiene, hydration, and regular exercise all contribute to better taste as well. It is well-tracked that consumption of fruits decreased, exercise decreased, and increased use of alcohol/tobacco/drugs: all done in large part by capital-driven forces. The focus on meat instead of more sustainable fruit and vegetable farming, the rise in sedentary and automotive (instead of pedestrian) life, and marketing of alcohol/tobacco/etc. all worsened the taste of cum- not just through poor diets/lifestyle but even down to available testosterone and sperm motility. Capitalism is literally emasculating. Please let there be more socialist dick in this world.

            Shrek is love. Shrek is life

              Shrek is love. Shrek is live.
              I was only nine years old. I loved Shrek so much, I had all the merchandise and movies. I'd pray to Shrek every night before I go to bed, thanking for the life I've been given. "Shrek is love", I would say, "Shrek is life". My dad hears me and calls me a faggot. I knew he was just jealous for my devotion of Shrek. I called him a cunt. He slaps me and sends me to go to sleep. I'm crying now and my face hurts. I lay in bed and it's really cold. A warmth is moving towards me. I feel something touch me. It's Shrek. I'm so happy. He whispers in my ear, "This is my swamp". He grabs me with his powerful ogre hands, and puts me on my hands and knees. I spread my ass-cheeks for Shrek. He penetrates my butthole. It hurts so much, but I do it for Shrek. I can feel my butt tearing as my eyes start to water. I push against his force. I want to please Shrek. He roars a mighty roar, as he fills my butt with his love. My dad walks in. Shrek looks him straight in the eye, and says, "It's all ogre now". Shrek leaves through my window. Shrek is love. Shrek is life.