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Cursed Thoughts

Cursed thoughts shared in discussions that is ridiculous and absurd in nature that it became a meme. Usually about popular characters and people.


I was 5 years old when I went to go see Pokemon

    Charizard copypasta
    In the entire history of animation, there has never been a more sexual scene than pic related. I was 5 years old when I went to go see Pokemon, the movie; and this scene awoke something in my body. For some reason, my tiny penis became stiff, and I began peeing uncontrollably. A full bladders worth of piss soaking through my Pokemon printed shorts, trickling down the chair. My mom noticed the smell and berated me "Anon, you are pissing yourself" she tried to get me to go to the bathroom, but I screamed and shouted to keep on watching the scene. I began spraying even more boy piss at her, and on some other members of the audience. Ushers came in to take me to the bathroom, I began pissing even harder and started shitting furiously. "Nooooooooo I wanna see Charizard" I'd scream in between leaky shits and blasts of piss. Eventually, it took 5 ushers, my mom, and a bystander to remove me from the theater, and get me to change my soiled clothing.

    I hate taking shits

      I hate shitting copypasta
      Taking shits is the worst function of the human organism after sex. You have to sit on the most uncomfortable seat ever, then you have to go through so much pain to push the shit out of your asshole (not to mention sometimes they get stuck in there). And as if those weren't enough then you have to wipe, you have to take your hand along with toilet paper and shove it up your asshole, this process can sometimes take minutes out of your life, it fucking sucks.
      
      
      TL;DR I hate shitting

      My mom confiscated furry porn that I drew

        Furry porn copypasta
        Child here. My mom confiscated furry porn that I drew 2 months ago. She was looking through my folders because couldn't find this assignment that was due. She got to the folder. I tried to tear it away from her, but she shoved me and told me to go to my room. So I'm in my room with a knife about to slit my wrist or something and then she calls me back down and yells at me, then hugs me, then asks why I was drawing that, then tells me that she used to draw stuff like that when she was my age but I still shouldn't unless I raise my grades. My 9 yo brother is sitting at the table while this is happening. My mom made me clean out my backpack and threw the porn away. I still sell it at school and my grades are still shit, but I have a 100 in art, so it's not all that bad.

        I have an idea for the Minecraft 2.0 update

          Minecraft 2.0 update
          I have an idea for the Minecraft 2.0 update. We will finally get all the important things that we have been missing for the longest time. After years and years of eating, the player character (most commonly Steve) has eaten lots of food. But, all of this food after all of these years has had nowhere to go. But fret not, because in the biggest update ever Steve will take the biggest shit ever. The more food you have eaten across all of your Minecraft worlds, the more blocks that will slowly slide out of Steve’s gaping anus. The process to obtain this will be fully animated, and these blocks will have a very special property. They have a stinky effect that wards off all mobs, unless of course the mob in particular has the poop kink from the next part of this update. Mobs will now have fully animated breeding animations, Along with kinks. Some animals will get into a breeding state by being hit, others will be attracted to your shit, and this along with possibly more than 50 other kinks. This is the breed and feed update.

          The release of the new FNAF game…

            The release of the new FNAF game has for sure gotten the FNAF R34 subreddits buzzing again especially with the new additions to the cast like Glamrock Chica and Roxy Wolf. Unfortunately the thing that seems to be dividing the FNaF r34 community is the new main character in the latest instalment of the franchise Gregory he has appeared in a number of posts in the subreddit and for those unaware he is a young boy about elementary school age. I honestly find it deplorable that anyone would defend the artwork that sexulizes a minor in any capacity and the main two reasons I have seen people defending the artwork are 1. he is a guy so it is fine if he sleeps with someone older which is an absurd notion that plays into the stereotype that guys can not be groomed/raped by a women 2. It is all fictional so it is fine which is also a disgusting take because if the protagonist was a girl the subreddit would of probably been nuked by reddit mods by now. Professionals have standards and until these issues are addressed I will be nutting to other fictional franchises that do not contain animatronics at the moment.

            Vaporeon copypasta but in italian

              ciao rega, lo sapete che, in termini di accoppiamento tra umani maschi e pokèmon femminili, vaporeon è il pokèmon più compatibile per gli umani?, non solo sono nel gruppo delle uova di campo (non so come tradurre field egg xd), che comprende per la maggiorparte i mammiferi, i Vaporeon sono alti in media 99 centimetri (3 piedi e 3 pollici) e pesano 28 kg. Questo significa che sono abbastanza larghi da poter sopportare i cazzi umani, e con la loro impressionante statistica base di HP e accesso a "Armatura Acida", potresti pure andarci pesante con uno. A causa della loro biologia principalmente a base d'acqua, non c'è alcun dubbio che un Vaporeon arrapato potrebbe essere incredibilmente bagnato, cosi bagnato che tu potresti scoparne uno per ore senza avere un'irritazione. Possono anche imparare mosse come "Attract", "Baby-Doll eyes", "Captivate", "Charm" e "Tail Whip" (fanculo non traduco le mosse) insieme al fatto che non hanno una pelliccia per nascondere i capezzoli, fanno in modo che sia molto facile farti entrare nel "Mood". Con le loro abilità come idratazione e assorbimento d'acqua, loro posso facilmente riprendersi dalla fatica con abbastanza acqua. Nessun altro Pokèmon va così vicino a questo livello di compatibiltà. Inoltre, fun fact: se gli sborri dentro abbastanza potresti fare diventare un Vaporeon Bianco (uno shiny molto particolare). Vaporeon è letteralmente fatto per i cazzi umani. Una difesa divina + tanti hp + Armatura Acida vuol dire che può prender cazzi per tutto il giorno, di tutte le taglie, forme e ancora volerne di più.