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Cursed Thoughts

Cursed thoughts shared in discussions that is ridiculous and absurd in nature that it became a meme. Usually about popular characters and people.


Como eu faço pra conectar o meu plug anal bluetooth com o twitter do Bolsonaro?

    Bolsonaro copypasta
    Como eu faço pra conectar o meu plug anal bluetooth com o twitter do Bolsonaro?
    
    Basicamente, eu quero configurar o meu plug anal pra vibrar toda vez que o Bolsonaro twittar alguma coisa. Só o pensamento dele comendo o meu cuzinho já me dá uma ereção enorme, então eu quero sentir ele dentro de mim sempre que ele twittar algo.
    
    Eu estou trabalhando remotamente por causa do coronga, então eu posso ficar o dia inteiro com ele enfiado lá. Se alguém souber como configurar, por favor me diga!

    Open English translated

    How do I connect my bluetooth butt plug with Bolsonaro's twitter?
    
    Basically, I want to configure my butt plug to vibrate every time Bolsonaro tweets something. Just the thought of him eating my ass gives me a massive hard-on, so I want to feel him inside me whenever he tweets something.
    
    I'm working remotely because of the coronga, so I can spend all day with him cooped up in there. If anyone knows how to configure it, please let me know!

    Can I shower with my AirPods in my butt

      So I’ve been a huge fan of Travis Scott for quite some time now (since his collaboration with Fortnite) and I was hoping to listen to Sicko Mode while scrubbing myself down in the shower. But as I undressed to bathe the thought occurred to me that if I wanted to really internalize Mr. Scott’s songwriting, the obvious choice is to do this anally. So next thing I know I’ve got two AirPod Pros lodged in my butt, blasting Sicko Mode at full volume (almost accidentally played Mo Bamba lol :P ). But then I realized that maybe AirPods shouldn’t be used while in the shower. So, I’m wondering, does anyone know if I can do this? Will my AirPods be ok? I just popped them in my ears and they sound a little funny.
      
      Regards,

      Waltuh

        Waltuh copypasta
        finger: waltuh, put your dick away, waltuh
        finger: i'm not having sex with you right now waltuh
        waltuh, put your dick away waltuh. i'm not having sex with you right now waltuh - Mike
        Breaking Bad/Better Call Saul character Michael Erhmantraut, portrayed by American actor Johnathan Banks, inhales a large amount of air into his lungs in order to prepare to speak to Walter White, portrayed by American actor Bryan Cranston

        I have a serious femboy porn issue.

          Femboy copypasta
          I have a serious femboy porn issue.
          
          Ok, I know this sounds like a meme but I swear it's not. For the past week or so I've been basically addicted to femboy porn. Like I've used it to get off a solid 3-4 times this week. I consider myself 100% straight. I have a loving girlfriend, and I love her with all my heart too, and I know it would break her heart knowing I've been jacking off to femboys and not her. I feel terrible about this and I really want to stop this.

          Gus is too professional to just suck cock.

            Gus from Breaking Bad copypasta
            Gus is too professional to just suck cock. He's a sensual and passionate lover. He probably has a sex room hidden away in his house where even his closest and most trusted security can't find it. Stylish, but not excessive. Rustic dark wood walls, barn wood floor, queen sized bed with velvet pillows, and a small coyote fur rug in the middle. Before the action happens, he asks his lovers to wait while he sets up the scene. He dims the lights, sets up some candles, and puts on some calming piano jazz. Then, he lets him in and that's where the magic happens. They disrobe while passionately kissing. Gus pushes them onto the bed and lays gentle kisses down their body until he reaches their cock. When he sucks cock, he doesn't give that "sloppy toppy." That's too messy. He embraces it, lovingly. He kisses it and licks it, slowly and seductively. Once he sees that they're close to the edge, he takes his mouth away from his cock and begins jerking them until they cum. He doesn't like to swallow or take facials.

            I was wrong — cocks DO have a specific cock-smell.

              I thought only sweaty cocks smelled. Today I was proven wrong. Just after getting out of the shower, I came up with the brilliant idea of using a hairdryer to dry my cock 'n balls and I ended up inhaling the cock smell. Turns out clean cocks have a very specific smell too.
              
              I admit that I was sorely mistaken and would like to formally apologize to anyone who was swayed by my uneducated opinion on the subject.