Hey guys, did you know in terms of human and Pokémon breeding, neither Vaporeon or Umbreon are the most compatible for humans? I'm actually quite disgusted at the amount of misinformation going around this community relating to them. They're actually both outclassed by another one of their Eeveelutions, Glaceon. Both genders, too. Let me explain. Glaceon is 2 feet and 7 inches tall in height, giving it the perfect composure to fuck. It weighs approximately 57.1 pounds, giving it a small enough weight to move around during fucking, but also enough to not feel too light or too heavy when you're using your dick on it. Glaceon's stat spread is also incredibly versatile for sex, with incredible Defense and Special Defense. It has lackluster Attack, but the best part is its Special Attack. You'll see why later. As an ice type, having such good defenses is incredibly rare. You also might be thinking, "but your dick would freeze inside of its puss-puss!" This is not true! Here is its Pokédex entry from Pokémon Sun, circa 2016. "It can control its body temperature at will. This enables it to freeze the moisture in the atmosphere, creating flurries of diamond dust." Glaceon can control its body temp at will, so if you don't want your dick to be frozen, you can create the perfect environment for dicking it down by telling it to change its temperature! This way, you can fuck it in so many different ways, temperatures, and more! Now onto its moves, which are also incredibly useful for sex. By level up, it learns Helping Hand. This allows it to increase your fucking power by double, increasing your pleasure times two! It also learns Bite, meaning it can get freaky and tune to whatever shit you like in the bed. Best of all, it can use MIRROR COAT. This means whenever you cum, it can double back the pleasure like a special attack, meaning you'll feel all the pleasure IT had during sex times TWO! Combine this with Helping Hand and you'll be turned into a human cum nozzle! Glaceon also learns Barrier, which if used just thrice, turns it into a massively defensive tank, so it can take physical attacks for days, literal fucking days! It can also use Hail. Now, if you use it outside, it will Hail outside. Go back inside and the Hail won't affect you! Best of all, combine the Hail with Glaceon's ability Ice Body, and it will gradually replenish it's Health Points during a hailstorm! This means it will NEVER fucking stop enduring all your "hits," so you can fuck it over and over and over, combining this with Barrier, and you could probably fuck it for 24 hours straight, if not more! It also learns Baby Doll Eyes, Charm, Captivate, and Yawn, allowing it to get itself right in the mood, along with you too! It even learns Fake Tears, Covet, and Tickle, allowing you to roleplay with it if you're in the mood. It even learns Stored Power, meaning if it uses enough Barriers, it can release all of the Defensive energy it has into, you guessed it, fucking SPECIAL ATTACK!!! And with its absolutely GODLY special attack stat, you'll be drowning in waves of pleasure due to this attack! And it doesn't get rid of the Barrier boosts, so as long as you have enough ethers, it can do this over and over WHILE you're fucking it! Hell, it even learns attract, which makes you fall so deeply in love with it that you'll be in a trance of fucking! It can take charge with that as well and use your love to make it fuck it how IT wants! Which means it's not just pleasurable for you, it's also pleasurable for your Glaceon! It even learns Aurora Veil, which in the Hail, protects it even fucking MORE from taking too much damage! Combine this with Ice Body and Barrier and you can fuck it for decades without either of you ever getting tired! Glaceon also learns refresh, so if that wasn't enough, it can never get sick while you're fucking it, protecting you from any and all STIs and STDs! I rest my case, Glaceon is the BEST Pokémon you can fuck. :)
Melusines are really important for Fontaine! They play a major role in the economy of the country. One of the reasons is their pride, they want to be seen as hardworker and loyal but they are all small and cute!
Melusines comes in all sort of colors! The interesting part is the taste of both the tip of their antenna and sweat is different based on it! Fascinating is it not?
The laws of Fontaine consider Melusines the equal of Humans so it's possible to have a colleague Melusines, or better, a partner as I have!
You see one of those hardworking Melusines is my wife, Elphane, my pink godess. I fell in love the first time we met, sunset on the horizon, alone on the aquabus.
I proposed to her right away (Melusines are very cute), at first she was confused, but she quickly whispered yes under her breath and made me the happiest man in the world as the sun faded out.
She is so cute, behind her strong hardworking Melusine façade hides a shy and cute wife! In fact everytime she sees me she cries tears of joy, it's sad im a busy man so I can't see her everyday. I have to leave after I made sure she understands how much I love her!
Recently I noticed people in blue stalking her, they must have noticed how cute melusines are (as I did). But I was angry at them, as cute as Melusines are Elphane is MY wife! I went to our home to have a talk with her about the creeps stalking her, she was very scared as I told her so I had to calm her. You see my wife is very noisy every time we do it (she is very shy), the creeps must have taken this opportunity to attack me and my wife! In our own home!
I tried to defend my crying wife but they knocked me out! I woke up to something called a "trial" I screamed about how "Melusines are small and frail" and what I would do to them if they ever touched my adorable wife Elphane!
And then... I saw her on the other side of the room, they made her cry! I went in a blind rage! I don't remember exactly what happened next, I remember a small blue brat screaming nonsense like "Aggravated assault" (?) and other dumb stuff like "sexual harassment" and "sexual assault". What I remember clearly is when she said I had a "restraining order" on my wife and every Melusines! DO YOU BELIEVE THIS! How can any normal men resist the urge to get closer to something as cute as a Melusine! They also said I must be locked in a place called "jail" for 20 years! 20 YEARS without seeing ANY Melusines! This is a crime against life itself! I swear I won't stay there for long! I'll leave, correct this stupid blue brat and get as far as possible with MY wife Elphane!
I will take her to see the world and the world will look back! Everyone must see how cute Melusines are! They will!
8:30 (before school): Watching Skibidi Toilet with friends
9am: Little dark age edit making class
10am: Rizzonomics Class (Kai Cenat is teacher)
11am: Looksmaxxing class
12am: Lunch (McDonalds grimace shake from Ohio)
1pm: Bussin Gyatt Studies
2pm: Ohio History
3pm: L Rizz Awareness Seminar
4pm: Baltimore Language class
I’m a guy. I remember in high school I overheard a conversation talking about the smell of cum, and I remember thinking “wtf are they talking about? It doesn’t smell like anything”
And then the other day for some reason I asked my gf if cum has a smell, and she said “definitely”. And still, im like, wtf mine doesn’t smell like anything to me
Is this a common thing? Is it just that other peoples cum smells? Or do I have something going on with my nose?
I know, we all do it. I do it. You do it. We all do it. I even enjoy it. I do not, however, enjoy the fact that others do it. Pooping is simply necessary for survival.
For some reason for me personally when I'm dating someone, or I am close with someone, the relationship sours in my mind the second I get any clues that they're pooping. For a long time I was able to ignore it and just think about other things, but my past few relationships have really brought to light how much I hate it.
It was a normal occurrence in my pan-sexual days where I'd go on a few dates (I always preferred women or trans-women/trans-men), and things would be going well. There'd eventually get to be a point where an overnight stay happens and they'd disappear to the bathroom for 7-10 minutes, the smell of Poo-Pourri fresh in the air, they'd walk out feeling proud and refreshed... myself? I felt disgusted. I never would verbalize my feelings as I always preferred to internalize.. I hate that goddamned smell. It's not a pleasant smell at all. It's a "there's poop here" flag, waved high and proud.
In the past this would be a small dip in a sin-wave that would be our budding relationship. I'd get over it, and forget. I'd do things that helped me avoid the fact that my partner poops. Something clicked in my head in recent years and now I constantly think about it. When someone I'm dating tells me he or she wants to go get food I'd hear "Let's go load up with future poop!" When we'd eat something healthier all I could think about is how disgusting this compose-like substance will be as it gets processed through their body likely ending up in my toilet the next day. I'm constantly worried about particles getting on me and my ex even refused to wash her hands after pooping because "she doesn't even touch herself" (this may be part of what asexualized me).
I. Fucking. Hate. That. We. Poop.
i cant even look at heavy and medic normally anymore when playing tf2. everytime im in a casual server and see a heavymedic duo i think of heavy fucking the absolute shit out of medic, fuck it makes me hard too.. everytime i play as sniper i always scope and seek for heavies with their pocket medic and take my dripping hard cock out to jerk off. every night id have the wettest dreams about heavy fucking medic in various ways: bondage, captured, topping from the bottom, roleplay, any fucking scenario you could think of, ive seen heavy and medic do it all. id have to wake up to a puddle of cum on my bed. the classic medic x classic heavy pairing is just as hot too, i enjoy bratty bottoms with tops to put them in control. i follow every heavymedic artist on twitter whether it be nsfw or not, and ive jerked off to every art, sfm, and video containing heavy x medic. even the ones on youtube make me harder than fighting a pyro as a spy. ive commissioned at least 16 artists to draw me heavymedic pictures, and ive spent around $500 on that. i keep custom made heavy/medic figures in my room, so when im feeling frisky, id play with one of them, sometimes both, while i masturbate to make things more fun and interesting, on a03, all my bookmarks are filled with heavy and medic stories, ive skimmed and read through all 2000 something heavy/medic stories and enjoyed every single one of them, i even wrote a book report about a heavymedic story called "a clinical trial" by poisonsun on a03 for my english class. apperently, my dumbass teacher didnt like it and called my parents over to have a conference with them. if that happens, ill get my computer taken away, and id never get to see heavy and medic fuck again. please god, please dont take this away from me, heavy x medic is my life.
