Skip to content

Cursed Thoughts

Cursed thoughts shared in discussions that is ridiculous and absurd in nature that it became a meme. Usually about popular characters and people.


Americans are immune to bullet wounds.

    In America, we’ve all been shot so many times, that most of us have built up an immunity to bullet wounds. It’s now hereditary, actually, because only people who can survive being shot live long enough to reproduce. Natural selection and all that. Some Americans have built up an immunity so high that they can easily walk way from a direct hit from a cannon ball. These individuals are considered “real, red blooded, Americans” and receive a certificate of authentication.
    
    This is also where the phrase “come and take it” comes from. A group of Americans endured a volley of cannon fire and they managed to catch 95% of the balls shot. They then hoisted the cannon balls into the air and taunted the invading army by encouraging them to come retrieve their ammunition and try again.

    Dried cum is the hardest thing known to man.

      Due to extensive research done by the University of r/CummysCult dried cum has been confirmed as the hardest thing known to man. The research is as follows:
      
      Pocket-protected scientists built a wall made of iron and crashed a dried drop of cum into it at 400 miles per hour, and the cum was unharmed. They then built a wall out of dried cum and crashed a car made of iron moving at 400 miles an hour into the wall, and the wall of cum came out fine. They then crashed a dried cum car made of 400 miles per hour into a wall, and there were no survivors. They crashed 400 miles per hour into a cum traveling at iron car. Western New York was powerless for hours. They rammed a wall made of metal into 400 miles an hour made of cum, and the resulting explosion shifted earths orbit 400 million miles away from the sun, saving the earth from a meteor the size of a small Washington suburb that was hurtling towards mid-western Prussia at 400 billion miles an hour. They shot a cum made of iron at a car moving at 400 walls per hour, and as a result caused over 10000 wayward planes to lose track of their bearings, and make a fatal crash with over 10000 buildings in downtown New York. They spun 400 miles at dried cum into iron per wall. The results were inconclusive. Finally, they placed 400 cum per hour in front of a car made of wall travelling at miles per iron, and the result proved with out a doubt that dried cum were the hardest thing of all time, if not just the hardest cum known to man.
      
      [EDIT: Guys! Thank you so much! You guys made my day so much better with these 3k upvotes, I’m literally happier now :)]

      If being goth is a crime…

        If being goth is a crime then arrest me for the murder of 3 people please god someone stop me this isn't a joke this is a literal cry for help please make the voices stop they keep asking me for more and more and I just want it all to go away sweet jesus help me

        Shrek 2 has the best climax ever.

          I watched that scene, I Need a Hero recently. Jesus Christ, what perfection. I don't know what exactly it was, but that whole scene was like nothing I have ever seen in an movie before. It was far fetched but in a good way. The powerful voice of the Fairy Godmother, whenever she roars "Hit It!", the start of one of the best scenes ever to grace movies. The transitions between Shrek and the huge gingerbread making their way to the castle and the Fairy Godmother singing was perfectly paced. A massive party inside the castle meanwhile the guards are doing their jobs to take down a huge piece of dough, Mongo screaming like a fucking dinosaur when he gets hit and starts kicking the gumdrop button back to them. The whole scene was well paced. It was fast, but balanced everything well. Amazing every single time.

          I want to fuck mitochondria.

            I want to fuck mitochondria. I fantasize every night about pumping my throbbing dick into the warm, soft cristae of those sexy powerhouses. I want to feel the buzz of energy as the electrons orbit in the gravitational field of my massive cock. I want to feel the hot tightness of the mitochondrial membranes rubbing against my dick as I thrust it in and out of ATP synthases until I orgasm, washing the mitochondria with my cum like a tidal wave and mixing my own DNA with that of the mitochondria. Just thinking about it makes me want to explode with sexual energy.

            Chess is dead

              Chess hasn't been updated in almost 200 years and it's obvious the devs have abandoned it. The greedy creators took your money and laughed all the way to the bank.
              
              I remember back in 705 AD when chess was fun. Then they started adding stupid features no one wanted like "Castling" and "En Passant" instead of listening to player feedback and fixing game-breaking bugs. I've been complaining for YEARS about the collision-detection glitch with the horsey. The "clipping-thru-pieces" bug has been abused to death and the lazy devs refuse to fix it.
              
              Don't support this awful behaviour and boycott this company.