Copypasta about Ben Shapiro a popular conservative political commentator. Includes “getting pwned by Ben Shapiro” and “Ben Shapiro asking mom for Robux”.
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I frequently jerk off to the thought of fucking Ben Shapiro's wife. Forcing him to watch while I make his wife wet for the first time in their marriage, have her beg for my seed while Ben tries to debate me in his whiney, nasally voice. I want to cum inside his wife as she orgasms for the first time in her 14 year old marriage with Ben. I want to force Ben to look at his wife's creampied pussy, full to the brim with my baby batter. I want to hear Ben gently sobbing while me and his wife passionately make out as I prepare to pound her again.
Let's say, hypothetically, I am a barbie girl. Okay let's even say I'm in a barbie world. Right so, in this scenario, I would obviously know from personal experience that life in plastic is fantastic. Wouldn't it be reasonable to assume you could brush my hair and undress me literally everywhere? Imagination; you can derive from the fundamentals of basic logic that life is your creation.
Hello, is this Pizza Hut?
Excellent. My name is Ben Shapiro. Conservative thought leader. Prominent white YouTuber. The Muggsy Bogues of the intellectual dark Web. And—look, it’s just a fact—I would like to order some pizza pie. If you are triggered by that request, I do not care. I truly do not.
Now let’s discuss conditions. First, thank you for agreeing to debate me. Typically, in fora such as this, I am met with ad-hominem mudslinging, anything from “You racist creep” or “Is that your real voice?” to raucous schoolyard laughter and threats of the dreaded “toilet swirly.” However, your willingness to engage with me over the phone on the subject of pizza shows an intellectual fortitude and openness to dangerous ideas which reflects highly on your character. Huzzah, good sir. Huzzah.
Second, any pizza I order will be male. None of this “Our pizza identifies as trans-fluid-pan-poly”—no. Pizza is a boy. With a penis. It’s that simple. It’s been true for all of human history, from Plato to Socrates to Mr. Mistoffelees, and any attempt to rewrite the pillars of Western thought will be met with a hearty “Fuh!” by yours truly. And, trust me, that is not a fate you wish to meet.
Now. With regard to my topping preference. I have eaten from your pizzeria in times past, and it must be said: your pepperoni is embarrassingly spicy. Frankly, it boggles the mind. I mean, what kind of drugs are you inhaling over there? Pot?! One bite of that stuff and I had to take a shower. So tread lightly when it comes to spice, my good man. You do not want to see me at my most epic. Like the great white hero of Zack Snyder’s classic film “300,” I will kick you.
Onions, peppers—no, thank you. If I wanted veggies, I’d go to a salad bar. I’m not some sort of vegan, Cory Booker weirdo. And your efforts to Michelle Obama-ize the great American pizza pie are, frankly, hilarious. Though not as funny as the impressively named P’Zone—when I finally figured out that genuinely creative pun, I laughed until I cried and peed. A true Spartan admits defeat, and I must admit that, in this instance, your Hut humor slayed me, Dennis Miller style.
And, with that, you have earned my order. Congratulations. Ahem. Without further ado, I would like your smallest child pizza, no sauce, extra cheese. Hello? Aha. A hang-up. Another triggered lib, bested by logic. Damn it. I’m fucking starving.
I’ve been radicalizing my family members and my girlfriend for months now, but yesterday my mom wanted to talk about some political videos she had been watching. We’d talked about Ben Shapiro before and I had explained how he’s a grifter, so she sought his videos out and apparently found him far more convincing than I have been. Whereas before she was all on board with everything I had explained to her, about workers rights, American labor history, the contradictions of capitalism, etc., the few Ben Shapiro videos she watched were apparently enough to plant that conservative tick in her. She wanted to argue yesterday about how there shouldn’t be minimum wage laws because Ben Shapiro made what she though were good arguments, saying it wasn’t okay to force employers to pay a certain amount and that a job making $5/hr is better than no job at all.
I was taken aback and tried explaining to her why Ben Shapiro and others like him are a bad influence again, and in the middle of my talking both she and my girlfriend got on YouTube and my mother began watching another Shapiro clip while my girlfriend went and watched a Liberty Hangout video (since I had brought that channel up too and my girlfriend watches it sometimes, “because it’s entertaining and she doesn’t actually listen to Katelyn’s opinions,” which is obviously not true because you when you expose yourself to the brainwash it’s very difficult to fight it, especially when you don’t know it’s there and are politically illiterate).
I just feel so defeated. If I can’t even get my own family members to care and understand, how am I supposed to get anyone else to? I’m not as effective a rhetorician as Ben Shapiro and apparently my loved ones really are the “advertising doesn’t work on me” types. My mother is obviously going to get further radicalized now because YT is gonna put more rightist videos in her recommended, and since these people uphold the establishment values she grew up with she finds them more convincing than my showing and explaining all the secrets and bad things about the US and capitalism. It’s so disheartening and depressing and I just don’t know how to combat the brainwash anymore
I masturbate to pictures of Ben Shapiro almost every day just because I know he would hate the idea of a male wanking to him
it's actually really difficult because I don't find him sexually attractive in any way and especially just his headshots but I have done it every day for about 2 years because I found it funny at first but now I'm so used to it that it makes me feel incomplete if I don't do it every day
