Skip to content

Emojipasta

A block of text that has been “emojified” meaning that it now contains an absurd number of emojis in them. An attempt to ridicule the use of emojis in text.


State of the Union

    ⏰⏰🔊WAKE UP SLEEPY JOE‼️‼️😴💤 It's TIME⌚for the GAPE 🕳️ of the Union👬🇺🇸 and KUMALA'S 👮🏿‍♀️💦 mad😡 cause 👴🏻Uncle Joe👴🏻 took ALL her uppers🫠💊🍭😝 EVERYONE'S watching:👀👀 BITCH McConnell👴🏻🐢 FUCK Schumer👴🏻🤓HaCREAM Jeffries🧑🏿‍🦲💦and Mike and his JOHNSON👨🏻‍🦳⛪...RepubliCUNTS🐘 and DEMONcrats👹 alike are🚶🚶lining up🪑to see Biden FLASH 💃his POTUSSY🦅like it's visiting day at the senior center👴🏻👵🏻🏥 Inflation's🎈making ALL our bills📄📃 get bigger😵... fatter🫨... and longer💸💳 and Aunt Karen👵🏻 is getting NOSTALGIC💖💘for when Donald🍊🧑🏼‍💼🗽wanted to GRAB HER PUSSY🫴🙀🤟... Can Joe REVITALIZE his BASE⁉️😮‍💨 make his BIG TENT⛺😗even BIGGER⁉️🎪🥵😫and make HISTORY👩🏻‍🏫as the SECOND✌️ Catholic✝️👼to DIE IN OFFICE⁉️⁉️⁉️🪦⚰️😥 (RIP🙏🙏JFK🤵‍♂️💃🤯) FIND OUT IN NOVEMBER!! 🦃🤡🧐 
    my 🦅 fellHOE ameriCUNTS 😫🇺🇸tonight is the ‼️💯STATE OF THE UNION 💙❤️address 🤍 tonight a 🍃JOINT 💨 CUMGRESS 🍆💦of RepubliCUNTs 🐘 and DICKocrats🐴 have to be quiet 🤫🤐 for Daddy Biden 😏👴🏻 and hear how 😛 to sTiMuLaTe 👉🏼🐱👈🏼 the economy 🤑💰 impHOES 😂 🍑taxes on the rich 💸💸 and save demoCRUSSY 🇺🇸 from the insERECTIONists 🔫💪so SERVE 🫦👁️ ur CUNTry 😫🇺🇸 and watch 👀at 9PM at WH.gov/SOTU 👀 to get ur SOTUSSY 🥵🕳️ filled by Poppa Joe 🍌😍💦Send this to🔟 of your pussy 😽 poppingest 💃 patriots 🦅🔥or say BOY👋BYE to the👅👅CUNTstitution!🇺🇸🍆✍️If you get👆🏻ZERO👆🏻back 🙅‍♀️you have to shoot down 🔫🔫💥 a Chinese spy 👀🕵️ balloon 🎈🎈 if you get 🔥FIVE🔥 back, ur passing legiSLUTion🍑🍑 && if you get🍆TEN🍆back or more ‼️💯 you’re the new 🇺🇸🥵FREAKer of the house 😍💦💦

    Leap Day (Feb 29th)

      🚨🚨🚨EVERY FOUR YEARS WE GET AN EXTRA DAY 🌞 TO THOT OUT 💋 HAPPY LEAP DAY🎉🎉🎉 TO ALL MY FAVORITE HOES❤️ I AM SO GRATEFUL 🙏🏼 TO HAVE YOU BITCHES 💃💅🏼 IN MY LIFE 📆📆 IT IS NOW FEBRUARY 6️⃣9️⃣ TAKE THIS EXTRA DAY TO SUCK THOSE HOT COCKS 🐔🐔 AND BIG DICKS 🍆🍆 AND LET THAT HOT CUM 💦💦 FILL YOUR MOUTHS 👄💦 SEND THIS TO 2️⃣9️⃣ OF YOUR LEAP BAES OR ELSE YOU WILL CATCH MARCH THIRST 🥵🥵🥵 FOR FOUR YEARS👌🏼👌🏼 
      🚨🔥🚨TODAY🗣️💢 is a 🌠🪩VERY SPECIAL👊🎉 day📆 my🫶 JUICY🌊🤭 JIGGLY💀😩 GIGOLOS👯👙👠‼️‼️ The 🥠CUNTh🍪🤑 of 🥶FUCKuary🥶 has been STUFFED🌭🫨🫄 with an 🍑ASSditional 2️⃣4️⃣ hours🕰️ of TAINT👁️🫦👁️ TICKLING🤗🙊 TITillations!!💏🧠🗣️ The Leap Day™️ was ⬇️conceived👣😈 in 4️⃣6️⃣ B(uss)C📜 by 🏛️🅱️🅾️🅾️🅱️IUS🍒 🤴🏼CAESAR🔝🍕 and had its 😵‍💫GUTS💣🤯🍑 REARRANGED👐🦴🙇‍♂️ in 1️⃣5️⃣8️⃣2️⃣🗡️ by POOP💩 GreGOOry🥛🛐 the ⛪️THOTeenth’s 🍡🍢POGO STICK🍒🥖💦💦 So on this💯 February 6️⃣9️⃣TH♋️📆 let’s🔊 get 🥵😤🐇HOPPING MAD🐇👹 and FUCK👉👌😈 like 🥕RABBITS🐰🐰💕💦❗️ LEAP DAY🤸 may only CUM👀 🔄once🔄 every 4️⃣ years🌞🌎🌙 but you🫵🏻 FROT-hungry🤤🍆🍌🥵 FROGGIES🐸🤭 will be🌺 CUMMING💦👅 once👆🏻 every 4️⃣ seconds‼️❗️ 💌Send💋📫 this🎁 to 2️⃣9️⃣ of your 🌈CREAMIEST👀 💘CUNTIEST😽💅 kangaroos🦘 If you🙏🏻 get 0️⃣🔙, ❌NOBODY🚫🙅‍♂️ will be 🏄‍♀️BOINGING🤹‍♀️🎯 on your 🐍BUNGEE CORD🧠🐍 for the 🌚NEXT 4️⃣ years🔒🤮👎‼️ If you😇 get 7️⃣🔙, you 👨‍🌾get to 🍗GOBBLE🦃 DOWN🫣 2️⃣9️⃣ 💊LOADS🍾🫗😳 of 🧽😱SPONGY💧SPLOOGE🤪⚠️🤤‼️ If you🙋‍♀️ get 1️⃣4️⃣➕🔙🏅, ZADDY🔞 TIME🧙‍♂️🍆⏰ will 🆘SPRING🏇🏼 his ♨️THROBBING🫣 JACK🧹🔫-in-your-🐈🍑BOX🥴🍆💦🍩😱🫃‼️‼️ 
      ROSES 🌹 💐ARE RED ♥️AND WAFFLES🥞 ARE BLUE🔵, I GOT A HUGE‼️ BOX🎁 OF COCKLATES🍆💦😩 FOR YOU😭!! HAPPY 🎉🎊VAGINTINES ❤️🎀DAY CUPID 👶🏿SLUTS TIME TO POP SOME ROSÉ 🥂🌹PUSSY😩🍆 AND SWALLOW SOME COCKTAILS😭😩🍆 MAY YOUR DAY BE FILLED WITH COCKLATE 👋🏿😩💦🍆🍫TRUFFLE 😩🍯BUTTER AND YOU GET NAILED 👏🎯😩WITH CUPIDS👶🏿😇 BIG ARROW 🏹🍆💦AND MAY ALL YOUR VAGINTINES♥️ DAY WISHES💫 COME TRUE SHARE THIS WITH 6 PEOPLE WHO YOU WANT TO GET A THICC 😩😩💦BOOTY 🍑BOUQUET 🌺💐FROM IF YOU GET NONE BACK YOUR BIRD 🙈🕊🍆WILL NOT GET ANY😩😭 LOVE 💔AND YOU THE ONLY DATE 📆💌YOU WILL GET WITH A BIG😩😍 BOOTY 🍑BOO IS ON FEBRUARY 29🙈 AND YOU WILL NEVER GET CUFFED💑⛓ 
      Where was you when leap day die
      
      I was at kitchen eating crisp potato chip when text come
      
      "Leap day is kil"
      
      "No"
      

      Ash Wednesday

        What up Christian sluts! ✝🙏🙏✝ ASS Wednesday is CUMMING UP! Remember that you are cummies 💦 💦 and to cummies you shall return! We might look like young Christian women 🙏💁🙏 but we're ready to get our faces soaked with ash ✝✝✝ and that Catholic cum 🍆💦💦 AND BE SLUTTIER THAN THE WHORE OF BABYLON!! 👅🍆 Send this to 🔟 of your baddest God-fearing bitches - if YOU GET 0️⃣ BACK, YOU'LL BE GIVING UP DICK THIS LENT 🙅🙅 IF YOU GET 5️⃣ BACK, YOU'RE A SLUTTY NUN 💁💋GET 🔟 BACK AND YOU'LL GET 40 DAYS OF CUM ✝🍆💦💦💦💦💦💦💦💦💦💦 FROM DADDY JESUS HIMSELF!
        🙏🤲Laudetur Jesus Christus🥵🐪 you little✝️cathoLICK👅SLUTS💃💃💃it’s ASS🍑WEDNESDAY📆you know what that means🧐its time to get👨🏻DADDYS🐪NAZARENE🐪COCK🍆🤤all DIRTY😈😈😈and let him SMACK🤌💥🤕it on that🥺FACE🥺til it leaves a MARK 14:51😈📖🔍🤨if ur lucky some big dick📏😱romans🏛️👶🐺👶will NAIL🔨🤩you to a SEXY🥵🥵CRUCIFIX✝️and CUM💦💦💦on you til you have STIGMATA⭕️⭕️on ur GAPING HOLE 🕳️ LENT fasting starts TODAY so I hope u GOBBLED DOWN⤵️🔄on daddys JUICY🧃HOG🐖🐷🍆🤤and SWALLOWED his CUM🤤🌊last night‼️🌝 now it’s time⏰to strap in for SIX6️⃣🕕🕡sexy weeks⏳⌛️🗓️🗓️of EDGING😳😖😫before the easter cummy🐇EMPTIES your BALLS⚽️⚽️on his EGGS🪺🐣and you can get back to ✅🥩🍆🥵MEATY FRIDAYS😈🙏🤤REMEMBER💭that YOU 👈are CUMMIES 💦 and to CUMMIES 💦 you SHALL RETURN 🔄 and don’t forget Jesus’🔝🎅FAT COCK🍆died for ur sins😏🤑😡😒🤤🐋🦥so if ur not SINNING👹🦹‍♂️and SQUIRTING💦he died in VAIN😢😢😢lube up🧴💦💨✊your anal rosary📿🍑🙏and send this prayer🙏to 2️⃣0️⃣prostitutes💃if u get1️⃣back ur a🤢PRESBYTESTICAL🤢if u get5️⃣back ur an🇬🇧🫅ANGLICUNT🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿🫖if u get1️⃣0️⃣back ur a☦️🪆RUSSIAN ORTHODIX🇷🇺❄️and if u get2️⃣0️⃣back🎅JESUS will make ur DICK🍆RISE🌅⬆️from the🧟‍♂️DEAD🪦and 👻👻ASCEND🌈to⛅️HEAVCUM💦💦👼😇to FILL ur HOLEY🕳️SEE🇻🇦🙏🤲
        OH 👏 EM 👏 JESUS 🙌 IT'S ASH 🚬🌚 WEDNESDAY 🐫 MY HOE-LY 🙏 HOES!!! 👯‍♀️ TIME ⏰ FOR DADDY ‼️ PRIEST ⛪️ 🚹 TO Rub 🤲🏻💧HIS 🍆 ASHES 🚬👅💦 ALL OVER YOUR HOE-LY 🕳 FACE 🙇‍♂️ SO YOU REMEMBER💭 THAT YOU 👈ARE CUMMIES 💦 AND TO CUMMIES 💦 YOU SHALL RETURN 🔄 JESUS 👳🏽 ✝️ DIED 💀 FOR YOUR SINS 👹 SO YOUR FAT 🐷 ASS 🍑 BETTER BE FASTING 🍽 AND ON YOUR KNEES 🧎🏻‍♂️💦 PRAYING 🙏🏻 TO YOUR DADDY 👨🏻 LORD 😇 AND SAVIOR 🔱 SEND 📧 THIS 📲TO 🔟 OF YOUR BADDEST 💅🏻 GOD ⛪️ FEARING 😰 BITCHES 👯‍♀️👯‍♀️ IF YOU GET 0️⃣ BACK YOU'LL 👈🏻 BE ❌GIVING UP❌ DICK 🙅🏻‍♀️THIS LENT 😭😫 IF YOU GET 5️⃣ BACK 🙋🏽‍♀️ YOU'RE A SLUTTY 😘 CHOIR GIRL 👧🏽 ⛪️🙏 IF YOU GET 🔟 BACK 😍DADDY JESUS 🧔🏽💋 WILL RISE ⬆️ 🍆 FROM THE DEAD 😇 😵 AND NAIL 🔨 YOU WITH HIS BIG CROSS ✝️ 💦 😝 FOR 4️⃣0️⃣ DAYS 🌄 OF CUMMIES 💦💦💦✝️💦🍆💦🍆💦🤪
        🎉Happy🎉ASS🍑 Wednesday 🗓️ to my dirty🤭 catholic✝️ school girls👧👰 and nasty😛 choir boys🎤👯. Get 👇⬇️on your knees 🦵 for Daddy 👴 and don’t forget you are DIRT🗑️ and will always be DIRT🚮. So get your face smeared💦 with his mark😩 and make an exhibition💃🕺 of it publicly 🏙️like the 🙏HO-ly💄💋 one you are
        OH 👏 EM 👏 JESUS 🙌 its ASH 🌚 WEDNESDAY 🐫 my HOLY 🙏 HOES!!! thats RIGHT JESUS 👳🏽 DIED for ur SINS 👹 so ur FAT 🐷 ASS better be FASTING 🍽 n ON UR KNEES 💦 PRAYING 2 UR DADDY lord n savior 😇 if u get 0️⃣back DADDY‼️won't put his ASHES 👅💦 all over ur HOE-LY FACE💄if u get 5️⃣ back ur a SEXY 😘 CHOIR GIRL ⛪️🙏 if u get 🔟 back DADDY💋 will rise from the dead 😵 and NAIL 🔨 with his BIG CROSS ✝️
        Lent😇 is beginning 😃 you know what that means🍑 ASS🍑 WEDNESDAY😃 once upon a time JESUS👩 was BOUND and had his SLUTTY 🍑ASS🍑🔨NAILED🔨on the CROSS➕ by the big dick🍆 💦💦ROMANS 👉COPY & PASTE👉 this to 10 friends 👩👦👬👭if you get ❌0 ❌back you don't ❌get nailed🔨 on the ➕cross⛔😩😩 if you get 5 back you're a ROMAN SOLDIER SLUT🍆🍑 if you get 10👍😂🍑🍆 back you will RISE ⬆FROM THE TOMB👼💀 so you can SUCK😮🍆 more BIG ROMAN DADDY COCK🍆💦🍆💦😂

        Corridor creeper 🐛

          Corridor creeper card
          🐛In the workshop, I go deeper🐛In the mulligan, I'm a keeper🐛 This time, I'm even cheaper.🐛You guessed it right, I'm Corridor Sleeper🐛
          🐛In the dungeon I go deeper🐛in set reviews I was a sleeper🐛when minions die I get cheaper🐛You guessed it right🐛I'm corridor creeper🐛
          🐛In the dungeon I go deeper🐛in bundles, I was a dealer 🐛when a new meta comes I'm the leader🐛You guessed it right🐛I'm corridor cash sleeper🐛
          🐛In the bedroom I'm a creeper🐛
          
          In my past I was a keeper🐛
          
          I wake when minions meet the reaper🐛
          
          You guessed it right🐛I'm corridor sleeper🐛
          🐛In the toy shop I'm a sweeper🐛in set reviews I was a creeper🐛when minions die is still my feature🐛You guessed it right🐛I'm corridor sleeper🐛
          🐛In the dungeon I go deeper🐛in set reviews I was a sleeper🐛when minions die I get cheaper🐛You guessed it right🐛I'm 3 attack weaker🐛

          IS THAT MOTHERFUCKING JJK REFRENCE‼️‼️

            ‼️‼️‼️HOLY FUCKING SHIT ‼️‼️‼️ IS THAT MOTHERFUCKING JJK REFRENCE‼️‼️❗❗‼️⚠️⚠️😱😱🫣😶‍🌫️😶‍🌫️😱😱😱😱😱😶‍🌫️🫣😱😱 GOJO IS THE BESTT IN ALL ANIME VERSEEE🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥💯💯💯💯💯 GOJO IS SO FUCKING BADASS😎😎😎😎 HE WILL RETURN IN THE CHAPTER 42069 AND SAY RYOIKIE TENKAII🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥💯💯 EXPAND HIS DOMAIN ON FRAUDKUNA AND SAY ARE YOU THE STRONGEST BECAUSE YOU ARE THE SOCCREROR OF THE HIEAN ERA OR YOU ARE THE SOCCREROR OF THE HIEAN ERA BECAUSE YOU ARE THE STRONGEST AND HE SHOOT HIS HOLLOW LIME 🟢🟢🟢💲💲💚💚♻️♻️🌲🌲♻️💚♻️♻️♻️💲♻️🌲🟢♻️💲♻️♻️💚♻️💲🌲🟢♻️🟢🌲🟢♻️♻️🌲♻️💚♻️💚♻️♻️💚♻️💚♻️🌲🌲🟢💲♻️♻️💚💚💚🟢💚🟢💚🟢🟢💚🟢💚🟢💚🟢💚🟢💚🟢AND SAY YOWAIMO YOWAIMO YOWAIMO YOWAIMO YOWAIMO YOWAIMO YOWAIMO YOWAIMO YOWAIMO YOWAIMO YOWAIMO YOWAIMO YOWAIMO YOWAIMO YOWAIMO YOWAIMO 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😎😎🤣🤣😎🤣🤣😎🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😎😎🤣😎🤣😎🤣😎🤣😎🤣😎🤣😎🤣😎🤣😎🤣😎🤣😎🤣😎🤣😎🤣😎🤣😎 TO WHICH SUKUNA HONEST REACTION 😭😭🫣🫣🫣😶‍🌫️😶‍🌫️😱😱😱😭😭🤯🤯😳😳😳🤯🤯🤯 AND WHEN HOLLOW LIME HITTED FRAUDKUNA HIS FOUR ARMS FELL OFF AND THEN GOJO SAID STAND PROUD FRAUDKUNA YOU ARE WEAK😎😎😎😎😎😎🤣🤣🤣😎😎😎😎TO WHICH FRAUDKUNA REPLIED YOU SHOULD AIMED FOR THE HEAD🗿🗿🗿🗿🗿🗿AND REGROWS HIS ARMS IN 0.002 SEC TO WHICH GOJO REPLIED : WITH THIS SACRED TREASUR I SUMMON THE ONE WHO LEFT ALL BEHIND OVERWHELMING INTENSITY BECAUSE THROUGH OUT THE HEAVENS AND EARTH ALWAYS BET ON HAKARI BECAUSE WE ARE THE EXCEPTION TO WHICH FRAUDKUNA SAID NAH I'D WIN 🗿🗿🗿🗿🗿🗿 AND AS FRAUDKUNA ABOUT EXPAND HIS DOMAIN ITADORI APPEARED FROM THE BUSHES AND ATTACK SUKUNA FROM BEHIND WHICH HE LEARNED THE BUSHE CAMPER YUTA ( THE KING OF CURSES IKYKYK😈) AND ITADORI SAYS LEFT ◀️◀️◀️◀️◀️ AND RIGHT ▶️▶️▶️▶️SLEEP TIGHT 💤💤💤🛌🛌🛌💤💤AND PUNCHES THE FRAUDKUNA WITH BLACK FLASH 69 TIMES IN A ROW WITHIN 0.2 SEC AND AS SUKUNA WAS NEARLY DEAD ITADORI SAID TO FRAUDKUNA I AM YOU AND PUNCHES THE LAST BLACK FLASH UP HIS ASS AND SAID NAH I WONED🗿🗿🗿🗿🗿🗿😎😎😎😎😎😎🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🗿🗿🤣🗿🗿🤣😎🤣🗿😎🗿🗿🤣🗿🤣🗿😎😎😎🤣🤣🗿🤣🗿😎🤣🤣🤣💀💀💀💀💀💀💀🤣🤣🗿🤣🗿💀🤣💀😎🤣🗿🤣🤣💀🤣💀🤣

            Valentines Day

              👋🏻HEY👋🏻 YOU seXXXy💋 LITTLE😫 💃🏼💃🏼SLUTS💃🏼👅‼️‼️📆Today📆 is 💥FUCKUARY 14TH💥 which means👨🏻DADDY CUPID💘💘 is 💦cumming💦 for you⚠️‼️‼️ He’s been ✊🏼YANKING✊🏼😩on his bow🏹 and arrow💘 all night😖 getting ready to 🎯shoot😩👅💦 all over you 😱😩🤣😜😘😍🍆🍆💦💧 so Daddy Cupid draw 🔙 your bow 🏹and let that 💦🤣CUM FLOW➡️👅 💦 ‼️This day only 💦CUMS💦 once a year 📅so ❌rip off❌ your 👗clothes👙 and JUMP 👏🏻ON 👏🏻THAT👏🏻 GOOD 👏🏻DICK!😂😩💗 🙏🏻Saint🙌🏻 Valentine💕🌹 is the 💞SLUTTIEST 👄Saint there is, so 👈🏻spread👉🏻your holy 🙌🏻bible ⬅️wide➡️ to take everything 😵😬😍😆he’s got🙏🏻. 💌☄️SEND💌to 5 💄VALENHOES💋so 👉🏻you👈🏻 can get 😫🤗OFF😊 tonight 👍🏻😵😜❤️💕‼️ if you 😵DON'T😵 you’ll be 👎🏻STUCK ❌without❌ 😖CHOCColate🍫🍫 or 🥖long😩🍆thicc😱🍆 🌹PLOW-HERS🌷🌷for the next 6️⃣9️⃣ YEARS!!!! 😱😭😵😫😜😂😂
              What's 🆙⬆my SLUTS😈❤💦? ? I know 🎉🎈TWENTY DICKSTEEN🎊🎉 just started ⏰✔ BUT 💘FUCKuary 👉👌 is cumming 💦💦up s👀n so grab 💋💋 those sexy 🔓singles and stick some 🌷🌷flowers in that vase 😈of yours and let 😇CUPID😇 stick his 💘💘arrows inside 👌 uuu Send 💌💌this to 1🅾 of your sweet 👅lollipops 🍭🍭if u get 🅾🅾back you're single this Valentines day💔💔 if u get 🅾5 back you're a Saint 💕💖Valentines Slut 💋💓 if you get 1🅾 back you get 😇😇💖💘 Cupids 😇 cute COCK🍆💦💖👉👌 tonight hurry up 🕛🕧🕐🕜🕝time to get that FRESH😈😙 Valentine love 💕😇🍆💦💦💦
              Know 👀🤓 what 🤨 day 🗓️ it is💥 today📆❓ it 😶 is ✊🏻 valentines 🙊😻 day 😍🤪👅💋❤️ let's 🙌🏻 get pegged 🤭😳🍆🚼 in the ass 🍑🍌🔞 today 🙊 so that 😳 we 🙋🏻‍♀️🙋🏼‍♂️ are unable 🌝 to walk 👨🏼‍🦽 all 💯 month 🗓️👅. And 👀 if you 🙋🏻‍♀️are alone 😩😳😭 today 📆, think 💭 of your 😊 special 😲😍 someone 🤩 and 💲wank 😜✊🏻off 😫💦 Just know 🤓 that you 🙋🏼‍♂️ are 💥 loved ❤️🧡❣️💕💞💖💖💘💝
              To the TAKEN HOES 💍😛 and the SINGLE SLUTS 💃🏻💅🏼, it’s VALEN-TIME to SLURP 😩💦, FUCK 🌮⬅️🍆, & SUCK 💦‼️🔥 that dumb bitch CUPID 💘🙊 is gonna be shooting 👀 his arrows 🏹 into some bussy 👌🏼 and coochie 🍪 TODAY‼️ If you wanted to get some SWEET 🍬 LOVING 😻 or some ROUGH FUCKING 💦🍆😩, you need to tell his BITCH ASS EXXXACTLY 😤 what you WANT 💁🏻‍♀️💯👅. TELL HIM you want to SUCK 👅💦 your crush 😍 like a yogurt tube 🍦🤤 and get RAILED 🛤 sideways ➡️ TELL HIM you want to be SWIMMING 🏊🏻‍♀️ in those YUMMY CUMMIES 🤤💦 and RIDING that DICK 🍆😩 ALL NIGHT LONG 🌙🌃. Send this 💌 to 🔟 of the DIRTIEST HOES YOU KNOW 🙋🏻‍♀️ if you want Cupid to help you get RAWED for V-DAY 💕😩 if you get less than 3️⃣ back, Cupid said your coochie 🌮 AINT TASTYYY 😩👎🏼❌ if you get 6️⃣ back, eXXXpect to get some DICK for DINNER 🍆🌮🍽 if you get more than 9️⃣ back, you BETTER BE READY 😤 to get FUCKED IN 6️⃣9️⃣ DIFFERENT WAYS TONIGHT 😏😛 HAPPY VALENTINES DAY BITCHES 🔥✌🏼💕
              PUSSY 💦💦 IS RED 🔥💋 BALLS 🏀⚽️💦😩😩 ARE BLUE 💙➿➿ IF HE BUSY 👤💼💼 ON VALENTINES DAY 🌹💖❣HIS SIDE HOE 👀👅🍆 IS YOU👊😴😴😫 SINCE V DAY 💝💜 IS CUMMING 💦💦GET THAT V READY 😏👅👅 FOR A GOOD SQUIRT 💦💦👀 FROM DADDY 😏😩 CUZ CUPID 👼🏼 GETTIN DEM ARROWS READY 🏹❤️ FOR YO ASS 💘💘 DONT FOR GET TO STICK 😱👀 THOSE FLOWERS 🌷🌹 IN A VASE AND TIE UP 😏😩 THOSE PRESENTS 👅💦 BECAUSE FUCKUARY 😜😉 IS SHORT SO GET IN A QUICKIE 👉👌👉👌💦💦 BEFORE ITS OVER! SEND TO 14 OF YO HOES OR BE ALONE THIS V DAY 😳😰😰
              it’s 📅👉Get Fucced February👈👀THOTS 😵🍆💦that🙌means 💘🤪 Valentine’s💖 👉👌Day is 💦CUMming 😤 up‼️destroy😱 Dick 🍆😵December 🤣may have😝ended🤪but🧐 Fibonacci 🔢February✔️is💦🤩COMING🤤in full👏force👊 SEND📩 THIS TO 📬fiVe5️⃣ of😍ur🍌💦sLutTiest🍆🍑 friends to ⛪️bless🙏 👉yourself😝with 💘love💝and 🍆dicc😤this💦month👀end🔚the➡️chain🔗and☝️you’ll be😳cursed😱 with🙅‍♀️no❌daddies👨‍🌾for a 😰whole😩 year😣
              Today 🗓👈 is FUCKuary Fourteenth 🙇‍♂️😳❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥 and that means its Saint 😇🙏 ValenTAINTs 🍑👈🥵 Day 🌞💞🌺🥰😍😏😏🤪 Whether ur 🤔 Taken Bacon 👯🍑🥓😘 or a Single Pringle 🧍🥠😬🤷 its time 2 👈 SPREAD 👉 ur Holey 🤸🕳 Bibble 📖 nice n WIDE 🤑😫😧😱🤯 cuz all year long 📅👀 Cupids been ✊⬆️ YANKING ✊⬇️😩 on his Bow 🏹🍆😫 n he’s finally 😮‍💨 ready 😳 to SHOOT 🎯👅👅👅 his 💓 Love Magic ✨💦😋 ALLLLLL over u 🏹🍑🎯🤤👅😉 HURRY 😰🏃 and fill 😋🍬👌 ur pretty 😍 lil box 🎁✨ with plenty of COCKlates 🍫🍆😜 cuz u know what they say 👴💬🤔 U never know who ur gonna get 😏🥳🍆💛💚🌷💖💝💐💌SEND📲 to 🔟 of ur most beloved 🥰 Valentines Vags 🌷👯💦 so they kno 💭 just how much 👬🤗 u wanna smooch em 💋👯🥰🥰💛💚🌷💖💝
              Got no chocolate 0️⃣🍫🍫🍫on VALENTINE'S 2️⃣💝1️⃣4️⃣? WELL NOT TO WORRY😔 MY DEAR FARMING TOOLS😈😈, because it's time for FOREVER ♾️♾️♾️FAP 💦🍌🤏FEBRUARY2️⃣!!! Whip out your GLIZZY🥵🥵 and FAP😧🥴😩✊🍆🌊🌊🌊🌊🧻till you're DIZZY🤪 because it's time🕒🔜 to train🏋️ your French🤮🤮🤮 CHIPOLATA🍗 into a German🇩🇪😈 BRATWURST🍗🍗🍗
              It's FUCK-uary 1️⃣4️⃣ you thirsty sluts 🥵 and you know 🧠 what that means 🧐. 🌹 IT'S V DAY 🌹 !!! And I'm not talking 🗣️ about 🅿️USSY 😹 I'm talking about SAINT 😇 VALENTINE ✝️♥️ bending you over 🥲 and 🤜 shoving Cupids 💘👼 arrow deep ☝️inside 🤪 until you BURST 🤯💥. It's the wettest 💦 hottest ☀️ day of the year 🗓️ so get those 👗 clothes OFF 😏 get 🔛 that DICK and get sprayed 🍆💦 down all 😀 day 😛 long 🤤. May all you straight ♂️♀️ bitches 💅 get that PUSSY 🐈 all you GAY bitches 🌈 get that 🅱️USSY 🍑 and all you car guys get that CUSSY 🚗🍆🥵.
              
              Send this to 🔟 of your sexiest skanks 👙👉👌 If you get 0️⃣ back you're 💦 cumming 💦 alone 😥 all day 😰 Get 5️⃣ back and Cupid 🏹 will split 💔 your ass in half 🍑 😱 Get 🔟 back and ⚜️♥️ Saint Valentine 🌹 will spread ✌️ you open wide 😳 and FILL 💧 you up with his 🍆♥️ love ♥️🍆 all year long 🤤😭
              💘Fuckuary is cummin💦 you bitches. You know what that means❓time to suck on a BIG OL LOLLIPOP🍭😋💦❗️Our main daddy CUPID👼🏼 and has to cum shoot his arrow♐️ in u🍆 for all you naughty little cupid sluts 😉. Send this to 🔟 of ur naughty little cupid sluts who are in need😩 of a BIG ARROW IN THEIR 🐯💦 from Daddy Cupid💖 or u won't get any 💝Valentine's cummies💘 this year🙊🙅🏼.
              ❤️🌹Roses are Red ❤️ Ballsacks are blue 💙 if he’s busy tonight.. 🗓 his side hoe is YOU! 😭😭😭
              
              👋🏻HEY👋🏻 YOU seXXXy💋 LITTLE😫 💃🏼💃🏼SLUTS 💞💞 Today📆 is February 👠WHORE-teenth💥 which means👨🏻DADDY CUPID 💘 is 💦cumming💦 for YOU! 💞😘❤️ He’s been ✊🏼 YANKING ✊🏼😩 on his bow🏹 and arrow💘 all night😖 getting ready to 🎯SHOOT 💞 his load 😩👅 right into you! 😋 So Daddy Cupid 💞 draw 🔙 your bow 🏹 💘 and let those🤣 CUMMIES 💦 FLOW 💦 FLOW 💦 FLOW ➡️💞💞 🙏🏻Saint🙌🏻 Valentine💕🌹 is the 😈 SLUTTIEST 😈 Saint there is, so 👈🏻spread👉🏻your holy 🙌🏻bible ⬅️wide➡️ and take 🤤 EVERYTHING 😵😵 he’s got 🙏🏻. 💌☄️SEND💌 this to 1️⃣4️⃣💄😍 ValenHOE’s 💁🏼‍♀️ you know will get DICKED DOWN tonight! 😘
              HEY👋 YOU👋 ARE YOU UPSET😤😭💔 YOU WON’T GET ANY DICK🍆 VAG🌮✌️ OR ASS🍑 THIS VALENTINE’S DAY💘💘 WELL👏 YOU👏 ARE👏 IN👏 LUCK👏 TODAY📆 IS THE IDES OF FEBRUARY 👉😏👉 YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS 🙌😨‼️ IT IS LUPERCALIA🎊 THE ROMAN FESTIVAL🎉🎉 THE CHURCH⛪️✝️ PEGGED🍆🍆 TO THE LEGEND OF ST VALENTINE 🙅‍♂️😇 WHY GOD GOTTA BE A COCKBLOCK❌🍆❌ EVER WONDER🤔 WHERE THE “FEBRUA”😩 IN FEBRUARY😫 CUMS🤤🍾💦💦💦 FROM⁉️ TAKE OUT YOUR STYLUS✏️ AND TABULA RASA🗒 AND GET READY TO TAKE SOME NOTES📝 CUZ THIS SHIT💩💩 IS ABOUT TO GET EDUCATIONAL🤓🤓 JUST HOW HARDCORE💯💯💯 WAS THIS ANCIENT PAGAN HOLIDAY¿¿🏺🔮HERE’S A HINT: NAKED ROMANS 🔞🔞🔞 TOGA❗️ TOGA❗️ TOGA❗️ NAMED AFTER THE LUPERCAL, THE CAVE🕳 WHERE THE TWIN FOUNDERS OF ROME🏛 ROMULUS ET REMUS👬 WERE SUCKLED🤗🤗 BY THE SHE-WOLF🐺 MMM DAT MILKY MILKY MILK🍼🍼 INSIDE THE CAVE THE RITUAL👹🕯 WOULD BEGIN WITH TWO NAKED🤫 LUPERCI PRIESTS SACRIFICING ☠️👻 A GOAT🐐 AS A REPRESENTATION OF SEXUALITY👅🍒 AND A DOG🐕 RIP CERBERUS🦴 THE TWO PRIESTS WOULD USE THE CEREMONIAL DAGGER🔪 TO SMEAR BLOOD🩸 ON EACH OTHER’S FOREHEAD🤦‍♂️ AND WIPE IT AWAY👋 WITH MILK-SOAKED WOOL🥛🐑 WHILE LAUGHING😆😅 AFTER EATING THE SACRIFICIAL GOAT🍽🥢 THE PRIESTS WOULD CUT THE HIDE INTO STRIPS✂️ AND FASHION SOME INTO THONGS 🩲👙🔛 THE PRIESTS WOULD THEN RUN🏃🏻‍♂️🏃🏻‍♂️ AROUND THE CITY👀🙈🍆🍆🍆 USING THE REMAINING BLOODY GOAT STRIPS😳🙄 AS INSTRUMENTS💉 OF PURIFICATION, OR “FEBRUA”😱🤯😵 WOMEN WOULD WELCOME THE LASHES📿📿 AS A BLESSING OF FERTILITY🙌🙏 SPANK ME, DADDY 👨🏻👋😝 MAYBE THIS ALL SOUNDS WILD AND CRAZY🤪 BUT HEY🗣🗣 WHEN IN ROME😏😏 IT’S TRADITION😈😈 SO THAT MAKES IT OKAY👌👈☔️ #LEGALIZECHRISTIANITY‼️ SEND📲 THIS TO 🔟 rHOEmans👯‍♀️ AND YOU’LL BE A VESTAL VIRGIN😙 💅 GET 0️⃣ BACK AND YOU’RE A BARREN BITCH 😣 OR A FALLOW FUCKBOI😖 GET 🔟 BACK AND YOU’RE A BOUNTIFUL BABE💃 GET 2️⃣5️⃣ BACK AND YOU’RE THE FLAMEN DIALIS 🔥 JUPITER’S HIGH🌬🚬 PRIEST😽🪐 GET 5️⃣0️⃣ BACK AND YOU’RE PONTIFEX maXXXimus 🤩🛐 GET 💯 BACK AND YOU’RE A CERTIFIED NYMPHO 🤤🎟🎢🎆 PAX ROMANA MEANS SEX FOR WORLD PEACE🌍✌️🌿
              👭 This one goes out to all the 💦 horny couples out there who are thinking of getting 🍆 rowdy this ❤️ valentine's day evening. 👍 do 👎 not. If you do, your child will be born 👏 A SCORPIO. 👭 Now, why don't we like scorpios? For starters, scorpio, has ☝️✌️✌️☝️☝️7️⃣ letters. 7 letters, ✝️ 7 deadly sins ❌. Now, what are the 7 deadly sins? ☝️😡 wrath, ✌️ 💤 sloth, 3️⃣ 🍔 gluttony, 4️⃣ envy. 👏👏 Envy is associated with the colour: 🟩 green. What else is green? 🌿 Marihuana. Just one more pothead in the world, 💁‍♀️💅 LAME! Now where is pot legal? ⬆️🇨🇦 Canada, ↖️ Washington, ↙️ Colorado, ⬅️ Oregon, ↖️ Alaska, 👉👈 airplane 👈👉 bathrooms, to make the 🧑‍✈️ pilots chill, and where can ✈️ planes take you? 😎 California, and what is on California's state flag? A 🐻 bear! Your 👶 child, is 🏳️‍🌈 gay.
              I'm🤭 so excited🤫 for😳 tomorrow. Tomorrow is valentines😘 day!❤❤❤. That💘 means tomorrow😎 I get extra😫 cummies!!!💦💦💦💦💦💦💦. Yummy💦 yummy💦 cummy💦 in my tummy🤤. I put my cummies💦 in a 🍑 and eat it, yum yum😫. 🤫 all I have to😎 do is stroke👏 stroke👏 stroke👏 until the delicious❤ cummies💦 cum out! I love❤ all the extra➕ cummies💦 I get for 🅱️alentines 👏 day.
              🍑THUSSY 🕳️ 💦 IS 🍒RED🍓 🧔‍♂️HIS BALLS 🏀⚽ ARE BLUE🫐 IF HE BUSY 👤💼👻 ON V-DAY💖 HIS 👀 SIDE HO♠️ IS YOU🫵🙀 🐸☕💅💅🐸☕💅💅 SINCE V✌️🍫DAY 💝💜 IS CUMMING 🍆💦💦GET CHO PUSSY🐈😻, BUSSY🍑🤎, OR NONBINUSSY⚧️ READY🎀 FOR A GOOD SQUIRT 🍊🧃💦FROM DADDY 😏😩, CUZ CUPID 👼🏼 GETTIN DEM ARROWS READY 🏹🫀FOR YO ASS 🐴🍑‼️ DON'T🙅🍩 FORGET TO THRUST🤺 THOSE FLOWERS 🌷🌹 INTO A VASE 🏺AND TIE UP🪢😏😩 DAT COCKLATE💝🍫 BOX🎁👅💦 GOOD, CUZ FUCK-ME-ARY 🌸💗 IS SHORT ⏳⌛🗓️‼️AND WILL FINISH🏁 BEFORE🐝4️⃣ YOU 🥺‼️ SO GET IN A 🐆QUICKIE 👉👌👉👌💦 BEFORE IT'S OVER‼️ SEND📤 TO 1️⃣4️⃣ OF YO SLUTTY 👄 CUMRADS 👯‍♂️👯‍♂️👯OR BE ALL ALONE 🏝️😔THIS V🫶DAY 😳😰😿🙀
              Happy VALENTINES DAY‼️💘💘 it is time for some LOVE 💞❤️ in your BEDROOM 🛏️😉 ‼️ I hope youre ready for some HOT 🥵🔥 and SPICY 🌶️🫑 action this VALENTINES DAY‼️💘 youre gonna get lots of DARK CHOCOLATE 🍫🍫💝💝 CUMMIES 🍆💦 this VALENTINES DAY 😉 you better ask your CRUSH 😳💌💝 to be your VALENTINE 💘 or 👏else👏 you 👏might 👏get no❌ DARK CHOCOLATE 🍫 COCK 🍆🍆 this VALENTINES DAY😭 CUPID 💘 💋 is CUMMING and you HAVE to take his LONG HARD ARROW 😳🍑❤️ you better be able to take those 🌹ROSE TOY🌹 BOUQUETS💐 all night ⏰ long 😉💋 send this to 5️⃣ of your hottest cupidhoes you know will be getting a 💌 VALENTINE 💌 this VALENTINES DAY ❤️💋 if you get 0️⃣ back your CRUSH 😍will not 💔 give you his LONG HARD CUPIDS ARROW 🍆💦 today 😭 if you get 5️⃣ back you will get loads 😏😉 of VALENTINES DAY ❤️💖 CUMMIES 💦🌊 if you get 🔟 back you 🫵 are going to GET the MOST 😫 VALENTINES DAY 💌❤️ PECKERS‼️‼️🍆🍆 if you get 2️⃣0️⃣ back you 🫵 might as well BE CUPID 💘👼 with the amount of CUMMIES AND LOADS 🍆💦💦 youre gonna get this VALENTINES DAY 💝🍫 you CUPIDHOE‼️‼️ happy VALENTINES DAY I hope you get the HOT 🥵 HOT 🥵 special 👉👌 from your CRUSH 💌💗
              Guess what slore! 👯 Today 🗓👈 is FUCKuary Fourteenth 🙇‍♂️😳🧸💖🌸 and that means its 😇🙏 ValenTAINTs 🍑👈🥵 Day 🌞💞🌺🥰😍😏😏🤪 Whether ur 🤔 Taken Bacon 👯🍑🥓😘 or a Single Pringle 🧍🥠😬🤷 its time 2 👈 SPREAD 👉 ur Holey 🤸🕳 Bibble 📖 nice n WIDE 🤑😫😧😱🤯 cuz all year long 📅👀 Cupids been ✊⬆️ YANKING ✊⬇️😩 on his Bow 🏹🍆😫 n he’s finally 😮‍💨 ready 😳 to SHOOT 🎯👅👅👅 his 💓 Love Magic ✨💦😋 ALLLLLL over u 🏹🍑🎯🤤👅😉 HURRY 😰🏃 and fill 😋🍬👌 ur pretty 😍 lil box 🎁✨ with plenty of COCKlates 🍫🍆😜 cuz u know what they say 👴💬🤔 U never know who ur gonna get 😏🥳🍆💛💚🌷💖💝💐💌SEND📲 to 🔟 of ur most beloved 🥰 Valentines Vags 🌷👯💦 so they kno 💭 just how much 👬🤗 u wanna smooch em 💋👯🥰🥰💛💚🌷💖💝