> gf is prego
> we like to get kinky anyways
> one night things get particularly saucy
> i'm sticking my noodle in her when I notice weird fucking chunks coming out, so I turn on the lights
> wtf it's red everywhere and she's obviously not on her period
> i look up at her, she's got a glassy, jarred look on her face and she's not answering
> ohshitohshitohshitohshit
> i rush her into my car and speed all the way to the hospital
> she's still bleeding everywhere
> by the time we get there, she's not bleeding much anymore, but all the color has drained and she looks colorless and almost transparent
> oh shit, she looks like she's in a vegetative state
> storm into to the emergency room, cary her to the nearest doctor and explain eveything
> he takes one look at her and says
> "sir, i'm sorry, there's nothing we can do"
> "WHY THE FUCK NOT???"
> "we don't operate on empty jars of spaghetti sauce"
> mfw
