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Oh yeah my dick is 5 feet long actually

    Oh yeah my dick is 5 feet long actually, it's a real problem for me, I have to get really specific pants and it hinders my everyday life dramatically. I vividly remember this one time I woke up in the middle of the night and somehow someway I actually was completely hard for the first time in my life. However I was quickly reminded that in order for my 5 foot penis to be erect, it would mean a large portion of my blood would be redirected into the shaft of my penis. My excitement was quickly and promptly ended when I fainted due to a lack of blood in my brain. Now everyday I fear that this event happens in public and my massive 5 foot penis bursts through my special pants and it's promptly followed by me fainting and falling on the floor with my dick out for all to see.