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FAQ: I just shit and cum at your comment

    FAQ
    What does this mean?
    
    The amount of shit (and cum) on my computer and floor has increased by one.
    Why did you do this?
    
    There are several reasons I may deem a comment to be worthy of feces or ejaculation. These include, but are not limited to:
    
        - Being gay
    
        - Dank copypasta bro, where'd you find it
    
        - walter
    
    Am I going to shit and cum too?
    
    No - not yet. But you should refrain from shitposting and cumposting like this in the future. Otherwise I will be forced to shit and cum again, which may put your shitting and cumming privileges in jeopardy.
    I don't believe my comment deserved being shit and cum at. Can you un-cum it?
    
    Sure, mistakes happen. But only in exceedingly rare circumstances will I put shit back into my butt. If you would like to issue an appeal, shoot me a hot load explaining what I got wrong. I tend to respond to retaliatory ejaculation within several minutes. Do note, however, that over 99.9% of semen dies before it can fertilize the egg, and yours is likely no exception.
    How can I prevent this from happening in the future?
    
    Accept the goopy brown and white substance and move on. But learn from this mistake: your behavior will not be tolerated in my mom's basement. I will continue to shit and cum until you improve your conduct. Remember: ejaculation is privilege, not a right.