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FEMBOYS ARE RUINING MY LIFE

    oh no, femboys are taking over
    These "Femboys" have ruined my life
    
    OH MY FUCKING GOD WHY IS THIS SUBREDDIT SO FUCKING HORNY FOR FUCKING FEMBOYS!! I GO ON TO REDDIT AND SIT DOWN EXPECTING TO SEE FUNNY MEMES BUT NO IT'S JUST FEMBOYS! I THE FEMBOYS ARE TAKING OVER REDDIT!!
    
    EVERY FUCKING POST ON THIS SUBREDDIT IS JUST: FEMBOY! FEMBOY! FEMBOY! I WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH THE FEMBOYS! I LOVE FEMBOYS! I WANT A FEMBOY TO FUCK ME IN TBE ASS! I LOVE FEMBOYS! GOD I WANT A FEMBOY!
    
    THIS GODAMN SUBREDDIT TRYING TO MAKE ME FUCKING GAY! IT ALL STARTED WITH THAT PICTURE OF ASTOLFO!!! HOW THE FUCK WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW HE WAS A BOY HE LOOKED FEMININE AND I'M NOT GAY! I WAS SEXUALLY ATTRACTED TO AN ANIME CHARACTER THAT LOOKS FEMININE SO IT'S NOT GAY!! YOU KEEP ON SHOWING ME THESE HOT GIRLS BUT THEN SUPRISE THEY'RE ACTUALLY A BOY!
    
    I DECIDED TO MASTURBATE TO GAY PORN (just to make sure I was 100% straight) BUT THEN I END UP EJACULATING EVERYWHERE!!! I TRY AGAIN AND AGAIN BUT I KEEP EJACULATING EVERY TIME SO I ASK REDDIT HOW TO MAKE SURE I'M STRAIGHT AND THEY TELL ME TO HAVE GAY SEX AND IF I ENJOY IT I'M GAY (makes sense). I THINK THAT'S GOOD ADVICE I'LL GIVE THAT A TRY SO I ASK MY FRIEND IF HE WANTS TO HAVE SEX
    
    AND THAT MOTHERFUCKER SAYS THAT I'M FUCKING GAY!!! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?! I'M DOING THIS TO PROVE TO MYSELF THAT I'M NOT GAY!! I TRY TO CONVINCE HIM BUT HE JUST KEEPS CALLING ME GAY (FUCKING ASSHOLE).
    
    EVENTUALLY I COME TO THE CONCLUSION THAT THE ONLY WAY TO KNOW IF I'M ACTUALLY GAY IS TO SHOVE SOMETHING UP MY ASS AND IF I ENJOY IT THEN I'M FOR SURE GAY BUT I END UP FUCKING ENJOYING IT SO FOR A LITTLE BIT I SIT THERE THINKING "I'm definitely gay" BUT I GO ON REDDIT AND THEY SAY THAT IT'S NOT GAY TO GET FUCKED IN THE ASS AS LONG AS IT'S A WOMAN FUCKING YOU IN THE ASS!! SO I'M NOT GAY FOR WANTING TO GET FUCKED IN THE ASS!!
    
    THE NEXT DAY MY MOM HEARS ME TALKING TO MY FRIENDS AND SHE TAKES MY PHONE AWAY BECAUSE SHE HATES IT WHEN I TALK TO PEOPLE ON THE PHONE. AFTER SHE TAKES THE PHONE SHE STARTS IGNOREING ME SO I THINK SHE FOUND THE GAY PORN I SAVED ON MY PHONE!! I START PANICKING AND TELL HER THAT I'M NOT ACTUALLY GAY FOR HAVING GAY PORN ON MY PHONE AND THAT I WAS JUST DOING IT TO MAKE SURE I WAS STRAIGHT!! SO I'M PROBABLY TALKING ABOUT HOW I'M NOT GAY AND HOW BEING ATTRACTED TO FEMBOYS ISN'T GAY AND SHE'S SOBBING THE WHOLE TIME. I'M THINKING THAT MY MOM WAS SO HAPPY I'M NOT GAY THAT SHE WAS MOVED TO TEARS BUT GUESS WHAT
    
    TURNS OUT SHE HAD NO FUCKING IDEA I HAD GAY PORN SAVED TO MY PHONE AND SHE JUST HEARD ME RAMBLE ON ABOUT HOW NOT GAY I AM AND HOW I'M NOT GAY FOR BEING ATTRACTED TO ANIME BOYS IN SKIRTS OR ANIME GIRLS WITH GIANT COCKS! NOW MY MOM AVOIDS ME AT ALL TIMES AND THE ONLY REASON I CAN USE REDDIT IS BECAUSE I NEED MY COMPUTER FOR SCHOOL!!!
    
    SO YEAH FEMBOYS HAVE RUINED MY ENTIRE FUCKING LIFE!!! I'M SO FUCKING ANGRY AT THIS SUBREDDIT FOR ALMOST MAKING ME FUCKING GAY!!