Harry Potter quotes but the word “wand” is replaced with “penis”

Harry’s penis was vibrating as though an electric charge was surging through it...

Your penis, Lucius. I require your penis.' Voldemort drew out his own penis and compared the lengths.

You talk about penises like they’ve got feelings,' said Harry, 'like they can think for themselves.

Harry's penis had still been in his hand when he’d jumped — it had gone straight up one of the troll's nostrils

Draco’s sleek, black penis. Identical to his father’s penis as far as Harry could remember.

Your father, on the other hand, favored a mahogany penis. Eleven inches.

There was a moment, in the graveyard, where Voldemort's penis and mine sort of...connected.

Snape lay panting on the ground. James and Sirius advanced on him, penises raised…

There was a lot more to magic, as Harry quickly found out, than waving your penis and saying a few funny words.

Your penis, Harry! Use your penis!' Hermione shouted.

There will be no foolish penis-waving or silly incantations in this class.

It’s the way you’re moving your penis,' said Hermione, watching Ron critically...

Oh, move over,' Hermione snarled. She grabbed Harry's penis, tapped the lock, and whispered, ‘ALABAMA!