🌕🐇🐇 HOP HOP BITCHEZ 💫🥮💦 IT’S MID-AUTUMN FESTIVAL, BABYYYYYY 😩💯🙌🏼 BE READY TO YEET YOUR INNER RABBIT 🐇🐇 INTO THE MILKY WAY LIKE YOU JUST BIT A SALTED EGG YOLK TOO HARD 😳💥🥮 👸✨ CHANG’E 🌌 🌙 TAKING NAMES, EATING MOONCAKES, AND LEAVING HOUYI ON READ 💅📵‼️ TIME TO SERVE YOUR GRANNY 🧓👵 MOONCAKES SO THICC THEY NEED A POSTCODE 🍑🥮🍑— STUFF YOUR HOLE WITH SMOOTH, WHITE, CREAMY MAOSHANWANG MOONCAKE 😫💥🍓
🚨WARNING: If you don't light a lantern this year, your crush will elope with a BUNNY FROM THE MOON 🐇💔 and you’ll get reincarnated as a DRY SNOWSKIN MOONCAKE 💀
SEND THIS TO 8️⃣8️⃣ OF YOUR MOST UNHINGED MOON-WORSHIPPING DEMONS OR ELSE: • 0️⃣-3️⃣ replies: Your mooncake melts in the box and your lantern catch fire 😭🥮🕯️ • 4️⃣-7️⃣ replies: Chang’e steals your man, your ex shows up in a rabbit costume 😩🐇📵 • 8️⃣+ replies: YOU ASCEND 🌕🛐 INTO THE HEAVENS AS A LUNAR GODDESS, RIDING A SKY BUNNY 🚀🐇, SHOWERING THE WORLD IN MOONCAKE HUATZ 🔥🔥🔥 ✨ PSA: Don’t ghost your ancestors this festival or the MOON RABBIT’s gonna cook YOU into the next batch of mooncakes 🍲🐇🥮
it is 🍆 COCKtober 6️⃣ you 🫵🏼 know what that MEANS SLuTS 🍒 MID AUTUMN 🍂 FESTIVAL 🎊 has CUM 💦 whether YOU are an 🥢 ASIAN BADDIE 💇🏻♀️ or 🍌 NOT 😒, it’s TiME ⏳ to get STUFFED 🫃🏻 with a BIG 😫 FAT 🎅🏼 mOOn 🌝 CAKE 🍑 or TWO 👀 Be CaREFuL ⚠️ not to get THROATED 👄 by the BIG 😦 DRAGON 🐉 at NIGHT 🌃 unLESS you are INTO 👉🏼👌🏼 THAT 😏 CUM 💦 TOGETHER TO GIVE 🙇🏻 THANKS 🍆👅 to EACH OTHER 🫂 and GET on YOUR KNEES 🧎🏻♀️➡️ to PRAY 🙏🏼 for FERTILITY 💦 and SATISFACTION 😩 in LIFE 🐲 GUZZLE 🤤 DOWN SOME SWEET STICKY 🫗 OSMANTHUS WINE 🍶 and GET a HOT 🥵 ASIAN FLUSH 🔥 GIRLS, 🧘🏻♀️ DON’T FORGET 😶🌫️ TO PRAY 🛐 TO OUR MOON 🌙 BADDIE 💋 CHANG’E 👸🏻 FOR A MAN 🏃🏻♂️ WITH A BIG HEART 😻 AND AN EVEN BIGGER 😦 COCK 🍆THAT WILL MAKE YOU 🫵🏼 ASCEND 😫 TO HEAVEN 🎇☁️