Skip to content

1. 據說刻律德菈陛下曾想了一個高明的辦法來懲戒那些敢嘲笑她身高的傢伙,可惜太高了勾不到只能作罷。

    Cerydra copypasta

    Its a list of copypastas poking fun at Cerydra’s height from Honkai Star Rail by Chinese fandom.

    1. 據說刻律德菈陛下曾想了一個高明的辦法來懲戒那些敢嘲笑她身高的傢伙,可惜太高了勾不到只能作罷。
    
    2. 曾經有人詢問邁德漠斯閣下,為何天譴先鋒的橫掃傷害較低,下劈的傷害很高?邁德漠斯閣下思考了一下解釋道:「這得從千年前說起了,那時懸鋒城和奧赫瑪還是敵對關係。」
    
    3. 為何刻律德菈陛下如此智慧,總是料敵於先,算無遺策?也許要歸功於陛下把大腦保護得很好,從來沒有磕到過頭。
    
    4. 據野史記載刻律德菈陛下與劍旗爵海瑟音閣下的相遇頗具宿命的意味。彼時家園被毀滿心迷茫的海瑟音閣下以海妖的形態藏身於一條小溪中,而刻律德菈陛下正率領著部隊要渡過這條小溪。騎著大獸的騎兵說:「水真淺啊,才到大地獸的大腿。」穿著鎧甲的步兵說:「水真淺啊,才到我的肚子。」刻律德菈陛下說:「咕嚕咕嚕咕嚕叫......」海瑟音閣下實在看不下去了,只得將刻律德菈下提出水面。自此命運的齒輪開始轉動,才有了後來波瀾壯闊的故事。
    
    5. 據說刻律德菈陛下在決定開啟逐火之旅後,將自己鎖在房間裡書寫作戰計畫。金織爵透過金線感應了一下陛下的狀態後,擔憂地對劍旗爵說道:「你快勸勸陛下休息吧,她列出的作戰計劃都和她人一樣高了!」劍旗爵想了想疑惑地說道:「那不是沒多少嗎?」
    
    6. 根據懸鋒人的字典記載,"短兵相接"的意思是和刻律德菈陛下麾下的士兵接觸作戰。
    
    7. 如果桌上有一個空白的本子,海瑟音閣下會記錄某段優美的旋律,阿格萊雅閣下會記錄某種服飾的裁剪,刻律德菈陛下會夠不著。
    
    8. 凱撒設宴-高朋滿座。
    
    9. 為何刻律德菈陛下身為肩負塔蘭頓權柄之半神,卻沒有任何"天秤"元素?因為在最開始刻律德菈陛下是有一把天秤的,可是無論如何天秤的托盤總會垂落在地上,於是陛下把天秤兩邊的鎖鏈一再改短,等到托盤終於不再垂在地上時,天秤已經變成了刻律德菈陛下的權杖。
    
    10. 有人擔心,刻律德菈陛下皇冠上燃著一團火,要是遇到下雨怎麼辦?別擔心,如果下雨,凱撒陛下身邊的護衛會比陛下提前十秒感受到雨滴落下,而十秒足夠凱撒陛下站在大地獸肚子下面避雨了。
    
    11. 為什麼刻律德菈陛下是黃金裔的核心?因為根據木桶效應,最短的一截決定一切。
    
    12. 我突然想到了一個絕妙的關於凱撒陛下的笑話,可惜這裡空白太小寫不下。不過倒是足夠放一張刻律德菈陛下的照片。

    English translation *not perfect translation*

    1. It’s said that Her Majesty Cerydra once came up with an over the top way to punish those who dared mock her height. Unfortunately, it was placed too over the top for her to reach—so she had to give up on it.
    
    2. Someone once asked Lord Mydei, “Why does the sweeping strike of Divine Castigation deal low damage, but the overhead slash deals high damage?” Lord Mydei thought for a moment and said: “Well, that goes back a thousand years, when Xuanfeng City and Oghma were still enemies…”
    
    3. Why is Cerydra so wise, always anticipating the enemy’s moves and never making a mistake? Maybe it’s because she’s protected her brain well—never bumped her head once.
    
    4. According to unofficial lore, the first meeting between Cerydra and Hysilens, the Banner Marquis, was steeped in fate. At the time, Hysilens, her home destroyed and spirit adrift, had taken her siren form and hidden in a stream. Cerydra, leading her forces, needed to cross it. The mounted warrior said: “The water’s so shallow—it only reaches the earthbeast’s thigh.” The armored soldier said: “The water’s so shallow—it only comes up to my stomach.” Cerydra said: “Glug glug glug…” Hysilens, unable to watch any longer, surfaced and pulled Cerydra out of the water. From that moment, the gears of destiny began to turn, and so began the grand tale that followed.
    
    5. It’s said that when Cerydra decided to begin the Ember-Chasing Campaign, she locked herself in her room to draft a battle plan. The Golden-Weave Marquis, sensing her state through his threads, said to the Banner Marquis: “Go convince Her Majesty to rest—her battle plans are already as tall as she is!” The Banner Marquis paused and replied, confused: “Isn’t that… not very tall?”
    
    6. According to the Xuanfeng Dictionary, “close-quarters combat” refers specifically to engaging with Cerydra’s soldiers.
    
    7. If there’s an empty notebook on the table— Hysilens would write down a beautiful melody, Aglaea would sketch a new outfit design, Cerydra… wouldn’t be able to reach it.
    
    8. Caesar made a feast – a high-pitched seat.
    
    9. Why doesn’t Cerydra, a demigod bearing Talanton’s authority, wield the “Scales” element? She used to have a pair of scales. But no matter what, the plates would always drag on the ground. She kept shortening the chains again and again. Eventually, the plates stopped touching the ground— But the scales had become her scepter.
    
    10. Some worry about the fire burning atop Cerydra’s crown—what if it rains? No need to worry. When it rains, Caesera’s guards can feel the raindrops falling ten seconds in advance. That’s more than enough time for Cerydra to duck under an earthbeast’s belly to stay dry.
    
    11. Why is Cerydra the heart of the Goldenblood lineage? Because of the barrel principle— It’s always the shortest plank that determines the limit.
    
    12. I just came up with a brilliant joke about Caesera, But the space here is too small to write it. It is, however, just the right size for a photo of Cerydra.