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Walter White


The real reason Walt broke bad was because of that terrible handjob

    I'm telling you, the real reason Walter broke bad was because he received the world's shittiest handjob which made him reconsider his entire existence. Your wife yanking around your 50 year old half chub with 10% of her attention while simultaneously borderline orgasming at selling a girthy 8,5 inch vase on eBay for 56 dollars is an experience that people in the darkest bdsm dungeons would be shivering at. I swear to god Walter Jr. is probably having a wilder sex life on the other side of the wall with his sock than these two have had in the past five years.
    
    So when he received his cancer diagnosis the prolonged silence was not due to shock but because of pure bliss and relief because he knew that in a few years he'll likely be dead and won't have to live like that.
    
    That's why when he received the news of remission he was so goddamn angry. And I don't know why people see the Salamanca twins as villains, they were clearly just tryna help a homie out and spare him from this existence. Oh, but why did they go after Hank then, you might ask? Well, then you clearly don't remember Hank's handjob scene from season 4, they were trying to save him from that. Really they were the true heroes of this show trying to save people from fucking miserable, dick shriveling handjobs.
    
    And then, of course, shit starts happening, Skyler fucks Ted and Walt goes off the chain prolly thinking stuff like "bet she didn't give just a shitty handjob to Ted, oh no! My god, I wouldn't even be surprised if she agreed to do anal with him! While I've been pleading for years!". That right there's a thought progression enough to start a man crashing plants in random office buildings. And the way it can mess with your sexual thinking, Lord only knows what kind of cataclysmic insanities Walt was busting nuts to while living alone.
    
    But then Walt has a romantic dinner with Gus, realises there's at least someone who'd probably agree to have anal with him, meanwhile Ted gets paralyzed, no more anal for him, Walt calls up Skyler "I won".
    
    Now Walt can be smug for the entirety of season 5, he's back on top of the sex chain. So Breaking Bad is really about Walt's sexual transformation from a submissive forced-into-humiliation-kink middle aged man to a borderline sex offender to an off the rails cuck to a pure alpha male who's ascended past sex and at the end of season 5 we can see him die with bliss on his face because he's redeemed himself.

    Waltuh

      Waltuh copypasta
      finger: waltuh, put your dick away, waltuh
      finger: i'm not having sex with you right now waltuh
      waltuh, put your dick away waltuh. i'm not having sex with you right now waltuh - Mike
      Breaking Bad/Better Call Saul character Michael Erhmantraut, portrayed by American actor Johnathan Banks, inhales a large amount of air into his lungs in order to prepare to speak to Walter White, portrayed by American actor Bryan Cranston

      AITA for roleplaying as Walter White during sex?

        I know the title sounds bad but please hear me out.
        
        I (37M) and my wife (25F) have had complications with sex our entire marriage (4 years), but recently we’ve started having more and more sex recently! I love my wife, and she loves me I think.
        
        Now onto the story: I have been a massive breaking bad fan for years, I have all the merch and funko pops. But my wife thinks it’s an “unhealthy obsession”, which is just completely and utterly false! We were in the mood 2 days ago and we started having hot steamy sex, and while I was grunting I said “Oh yeah Jesse, im gonna cook up your boy pussy!” And my wife instantly said “WHAT!?” And I, realising my mistake, said “Nothing, probably just the wind.”
        
        We continued going at it and we were reaching the climax, as soon as I came I yelled “Jesse! Feel my crystal blue cum!” And my wife threw me off instantly and yelled “I’m done! I hate you and I hate your stupid breaking bad obsession, and I’ve been fucking another guy because you won’t shut up about ‘Better Call Saul’ and how ‘Kim’ is a better wife than me!”.
        
        As she was yelling more about how breaking bad is ruining me I told her “you’re acting just like skyler!” And she yelled that we are getting a divorce.
        
        She has now moved into a motel and I’ve been thinking about what happened, I personally don’t believe I’m in the wrong, but I want to hear it from Reddit.
        
        AITA?

        AITA for missing my daughter’s birth to make a drug deal?

          AITA Breaking Bad
          I was diagnosed with lung cancer a few months ago and started cooking meth in order to pay for my treatment and provide for my family. An opportunity arose for me to sell my product to a major distributor. On my way to the drug deal, my pregnant wife informed me that she was in labor. Instead of going to the hospital, I dropped of the meth and missed the birth of my daughter. The deal earned me millions of dollars that will go directly to my family's future. I am feeling very conflicted about my decision.
          
          Am I the asshole?

          Walter White is a major part of Ninjago’s mythos and sociopolitical themes.

            Walter White is canonically part of Ninjago lore
            He is a submissive and breedable beta male who has been conditioned by the Spinjitzu believers to follow their beliefs without question and resist the reevaluation of values towards the based sigma gigachad that was brought by the Overlord. He tries to make their flame die out by enforcing Morbinine Warfare, but on his first experiment, he creates Morbius, the based alpha male who morbs Walter, thus showing that no matter how much Spinjitzu tries to pivot Ninjago towards a submissive and breedable slave morality, the truth of the sigma gigachad will always shine bright.

            Walter White Heisenberg

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