>Be me
>Be 16
>New school, introduced to class
>Meet guy who is an asshole, let's call him Shitgut >Shitgut tries to start bullying me
>Be alpha and resist
>Don't make many friends, don't need them
>Notice Shitgut bullies other kids
>Decide to fuck him up
>Figure where his locker is
>Wait until school is over, follow him home from a safe distance, unseen >Mark down where he lives, GTFO
>Find out he does hockey, figure out where his ice rink is, and what time he trains >Spend six months practically stalking that fuck, making sure I don't get caught
>Map out where he is at any time, at all times
>Then proceed to phase two, buy a pineapple
>On a day I get off school earlier than he does, bike to his house and leave the pineapple at the door >His parents ain't home for hours, seen by nobody
>He tells people about the pineapple tomorrow, nobody cares
>Two weeks later, sneak a pineapple at the ice rink, in the men's dressing room
>People think he's making it up
>Start buying a pineapple on a regular basis, always have it ready when opportunity strikes
>Hallway empty, pick his locker and leave a pineapple
>His motorbike is unwatched, leave a pineapple
>He doesn't mention the pineapples to anyone anymore
>Figure out where they keep his home's spare key
>Skip school, sneak into his home while his parents work
>Leave a pineapple on his bed
>Hear he's failing classes
>His parents put up a security camera, I figure the blind spot and dodge that shit >Send him a fucking pineapple for christmas through the mail from a fake address >He doesn't show up to school every day anymore
>Don't even think about why I do it anymore, it's just for shits and giggles now >Bombard that fuck with random pineapples every few weeks for two fucking years >School year ends, finish school
>Go to college like a boss
>Come back home for the holidays
>Hear someone from my old school had had a panic attack at the grocery store >It's Shitgut.
>Someone had left a fucking pineapple on the beer shelf
