Skip to content

Reddit award


Take my damn award and leave

    Giving an Award, or "gilding", is a way to show appreciation for an exceptional contribution to Reddit
    OMG! You got me! Take my damn award and leave. Get the hell out. Collapse my reply right this second! You must take every course of action possible to distance yourself from me after you have frustrated me into coughing up this worthless Reddit emoji. Leave this subreddit at once! Delete your account and the Reddit app. Smash your phone and laptop and terminate your home WiFi connection. Take whatever you can carry on your back and flee far far away, as far as you can go on your own two feet. Then, once you tire, you must find an alternate mode of transportation to travel even farther, for you have truly flummoxed and bamboozled me with the stunning ingenuity of your comment. I must ensure that I have no chance of ever seeing you again, for I would be put to utter shame by your endless glory in the off chance that we crossed paths. Go get on a plane, taxi, bus, ship, motorcycle, or whatever you desire and travel until you reach the nearest space station. From here, you must enter training for several long years to become an astronaut so that you may leave this planet forever. I have no doubt you would be able to complete the training program fluidly despite lacking all relevant work or education experience due to the cutting-edge wordplay you have exhibited in the meticulous creation of your comment. Once you finish training, and embark on your first mission to space, you must use your incredible genius to hijack the space shuttle, hack the ground computer control systems, and pilot yourself in a trajectory away from our solar system and deep into interstellar space. Only by sending yourself to the farthest corners of not just our galaxy, our galaxy cluster, nor local supercluster, but to the edge of the observable universe may I be safe from being dissolved to atoms by the mere aura of your presence.