NonCredibleDefense

You will never be a real Great Power. You have no historical accomplishments, you have no modern military, you have no future. You are a degenerate keptocracy twisted by vodka and corruption into a crude mockery of a nation state.

All the “validation” you get is two-faced and half-hearted. Behind your back people mock you. Your Adversaries are disgusted and ashamed of you, your “Allies” laugh at your pathetic displays of strength behind closed doors.

Nations are utterly repulsed by you. Thousands of years of civilization have allowed countries to sniff out frauds with incredible efficiency. Even when you have managed to “pass” you looked uncanny and unnatural to other nations. Your political structure is a dead giveaway. And even if you manage to get a successful western company to invest in you, he’ll turn tail and bolt the second he gets a whiff of your deranged, violent ambitions.

You will never be happy. You wrench out a fake smile every morning and tell yourself RUSSIA STRONK, but deep inside you feel the demographic collapse creeping up like a weed, ready to crush you under the weight of your own mediocrity and despair.

Eventually it’ll be too much to bear – you’ll saddle up the conscripts, unleash the propaganda, write your Rebirth of an Empire victory speech, and plunge into a country you should steamroll in days but winds up destroying the last shred of your national dignity. The rest of the world will witness this, heartbroken but relieved they no longer have to pretend you are a country worth respecting. They’ll financially bury you to help hasten the inevitable, and every passerby for the rest of your existence will witness how little you actually contributed to this world. Your “civilization” will collapse and be assimilated into other states, and all that will remain of your legacy is a few paragraphs in a history book listing all the genocides, purges, poverty and suffering you created while threatening everyone with nuclear annihilation.

This is your fate. This is what you chose. There is no turning back.

Non paragraph version

You will never be a real great power. You have no historical accomplishments. You have no modern military. You have no future. You are a degenerate kleptocracy twisted by vodka and corruption into a crude mockery of a political system. All the validation you get is two faced and halfhearted behind your back People mock you. Your adversaries are disgusted and ashamed of you. Your allies laugh at your pathetic displays of strength behind closed doors. Nations are utterly repulsed by you. Thousands of years of civilization have allowed countries to sniff out frauds with incredible efficiency. Even when you have managed to pass, you looked uncanny and unnatural to other nations. Your political structure is a dead giveaway. And even if you manage to get a successful Western company to invest in you, they'll turn tail and bolt the second they gets a whiff of your deranged, violent ambitions. You will never be happy. You wrench out a fake smile every morning and tell yourself Russia stronk. But deep inside you feel the demographic collapse creeping up like a weed, ready to crush you under the weight of your own mediocrity and despair. Eventually, it'll be too much to bear. You'll pack up the conscripts, unleash the propaganda, write your rebirth of an empire victory speech, and plunge into a country you should steam roll in days. But winds up destroying the last shreds of your national dignity. The rest of the world will witness this, heart broken but relieved they no longer have to pretend you are a country worth respecting. They'll financially bury you to help hasten the inevitable, and every passerby for the rest of your existence will witness how little you've contributed to this world. Your civilization will collapse and be assimilated into other states and all that will remain of your legacy is a few paragraphs in a history book detailing all the genocides, purges, and poverty you've created while threatening everyone with nuclear annihilation.This is your fate, this is what you choose, there is no turning back.

This copypasta is a parody of “You will never be a real woman” pasta