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Need advice


Ok so I’m pretty new to this whole dating thing

    The original copypasta came from Yahoo Answers and goes all the way back.
    Ok so I'm pretty new to this whole dating thing, there's this girl I really like in my math class and I wanted to be her boyfriend, there's these really cool guys in grade 9 and they have sex about five times a day, they say that girls love it when boys show them their penis.
    
    So in my next math class I stole a seat next to her and stared at her boobs, I became erection and pulled it out through the fly of my pants, as I was about to tap her on the shoulder so she could see my penis, this other girl that has no boobs and is ugly screamed “oh my god!", screaming and pointing at my penis.
    
    I stood up to tell her to shut up and go away, but my penis was still hanging out from my pants, all the class was looking at it, I didn't want them to see my penis because it meant I would have to have sex with everybody in the room. I tried to make things right by swooping over to the girl like and bringing my penis up to her face close up, this made it clear that I wanted her to see my penis and not the rest of the class.
    
    She screamed and tried to stab me with a pen, but she missed and stuck it up my bum, it felt really good, and some weird clear goo shat out from my penis and hit her in the face, she ran out of the room exiting and I got sent to the office.
    
    My penis was caught in my zipper, $0 had to leave it hanging out therefor a while longer, but then classes ended and everybody entered the hallway, everybody saw my penis, and I now have to have sex with the entire school
    
    I don't understand what happen, why are ufly girls so nosy, and why did the girl I like run away? Is my penis very small, I do not understand.