I think it is time for me to come out and say it: I am copesexual. Yes, I am sexually attracted to coping, seething, malding, and the like. Nothing gets me more aroused and ready to go than being told to “cope” by some anonymous user online. The moment I am told to “cope”, it is as though I endure a Pavlovian response where blood immediately rushes to the tip of my cock, and I enter a state of testosterone-fueled horniness with a raging erection. When someone says “cope harder”, I nearly edge myself on impulse; it is impossible to contain my excitement, and all but a simple “seethe” is the only thing stopping me from bursting my thick, white, creamy baby yogurt all over my computer screen. I was once told by someone online “ez cope”, which resulted in the longest-lasting orgasm of my life—approximately 7 minutes of pure, uninterrupted bliss. My dream is to be told to cope, seethe, and mald simultaneously, to achieve true sexual enlightenment. In fact, just discussing this is already giving me a monstrous boner, and I may need to cease my writing to quickly crank one out. Cope. HRRNNGHHH. Seethe. UUUGGHHHHH. MALD. HHNRNRUUGGHHHHHJSHUHH
