Magic The Gathering

I read Merfolk and I smiled.

I then read Flash and an eyebrow raised.

I then read Vigilance and gasped.

I then read applying a Stun Counter and muttered oh my god.

I then read it has removal with the Stun Counter and leaned forward.

I then read 2/1 and prepped my credit card.

All that for only for 1U on an Uncommon... Give it to me now.

Started from a comment on r/custommagic where users share their custom MTG cards. OP who initially used the pasta meant it as a genuine review on a person’s card but got meme-d due to how generic the comment was.

This design is genius. It does so many things.

It's so neat and simple.

It's so balanced.

You can interact with it in so many ways, and each of them are so simple to grasp.

Really I love it, thanks for sharing, it'll go in my custom cube for sure.

Posted by u/Turbulent_Maybe_7237 on the MTG sub, the person has since deleted his account and the post has been removed by Reddit.

I end up roping 95% of games 10+ minutes because you all suck.

Learn to play.

You play a single board wipe? That’s rope. You lost and flipped over the game.

Counter spam? You’re roped. Obvious reasoning, learn to play.

Netdeck? Rope. I can literally play your own deck for you, 5 turns in advance; how are you not embarrassed being an actual npc who can’t build?

This game is ruined by the “meta” and you losers who encourage it. I wish I could actually play this game instead of “staring at empty screen” simulator for over 50% of my games because you all suck and don’t know how to play without wiping a board for 4 mana or stopping a 8 mana wincon with the 3 two mana counters you’ve been holding all game.

I put turn stops on every turn, wait out the timer until it’s barely a wick. The timer resets on attack phases so every turn ends up being like 3ish minutes of rope, I hold instant spells and maintain blocks/life gain to keep the game going as long as possible. I regularly rope people for 30ish minutes while they can only ping me for 1-2 damage every few minutes.

Goes without saying but obviously never faced any repercussions for this, nobody cares that your control netdeck got roped for 15 minutes, boo hoo. Also want to clarify that I get roped MAYBE 1% of the games I play, obviously going to keep roping to punish annoying players.

EDIT; It genuinely just struck me that statistically, most of you are lower rank than me (diamond 2 rn) with zero board wipes or counterspells, highly ironic getting lectured on skill by people who can barely eke out plat with netdecks crafted by pros.

2nd EDIT: One of the most commented/interacted post in days within an hour of posting, REALLY shows how much of a nerve this struck and how much y’all feel called out, maybe self examine why?

I end up jerking 95% of posts 10+ comments because you all suck.

I end up jerking 95% of posts 10+ comments because you all suck.

Learn to jerk.

You ask a single stupid question? That’s jerk. You stupid and flipped over on reddit.

Complain spam? You’re jerked. Obvious reasoning, learn to jerk.

Netjerk? Jerk. I can literally jerk your own post for you, 5 days in advance; how are you not embarrassed being an actual npc who can’t jerk?

This sub is ruined by the “trending tab” and you losers who encourage it. I wish I could actually jerk this circle instead of “staring at empty screen” simulator for over 50% of my scrolling because you all suck and don’t know how to jerk without copying pastas for 4 upvotes or ruining a 8k upvotes post with the 3  two upvotes comment you’ve been holding in all day.

I put a jerk stop on every comment, wait out the auto-ban timer until it’s over. The timer resets on the next comment so every tread ends up being like 30 comments of jerk, I hold instant replies and maintain hardness/ stamina to keep the jerk going as long as possible. I regularly jerk people for 30 comments while they can only report me 1-2 times every few minutes.

Goes without saying but obviously never faced any repercussions for this, nobody cares that your stupid post got jerked for 15 upvotes, boo hoo. Also want to clarify that I get jerked MAYBE 1% of the posts i make, obviously going to keep jerking to punish annoying redditors.

EDIT; It genuinely just struck me that statistically, most of you are lower karma than me ( 2 rn) with zero trending posts or comments, highly ironic getting lectured on grammars by people who can barely eke out upvotes with netjerks crafted by pro jerkers.

2nd EDIT: One of the most commented/interacted post in days within an hour of posting, REALLY shows how much of a nerve this struck and how much y’all feel called out, maybe self examine why?