As we all know, the cocky🍆 Christopher Columbus🚌 sailed⛵️ the ocean🌊 blue in 1️⃣4️⃣9️⃣2️⃣ on a quest for spices🌶 and even spicier🔥 sex. What a lot of us don't realize🤡, however, is that cucklord🤢 Chris was an even sussier🤔 baka🤮 than we thought💭. About 5️⃣ centuries prior, a naughty😈 Nord🚣♂️ by the name of Leif🍃 Erikson☀️ had already set foot🦶 on the North⬆️ American🌎 continent. Our lecherously😵💫 libidinous😛 Leify boi was on his way to Greenland🇬🇱 when he got blown👄🌭 off course to land in the greatest country on earth🗺: that's right, Canada🇨🇦!!1! Now, every president since Lyndong🍌 B. Johnson🌽 has recognized lascivious😳 Leif🍁, and you should too. Make sure you celebrate🎉 the true spirit👻 of today📆 by getting colonized in the ass🍑 by a voluminous🤤 viking!! Share this with 1️⃣3️⃣ historical hoebuckets🪣 who are horny👹 for nutty🥒💦 Nords. You'd better hope you get at least 🔟 back, or else instead of a sensual🥵 sexplorer❤️🔥, you'll be nothing but a Santa🎅 Maria sleazebag‼️