I may be an Atheist, but I believe in Santa. Unlike God, Santa leaves tangible evidence of his existence behind. I'd like to see God leave a present or coal or something. Can't do it, the nonexistent weakling/ I'm more scared of punishment from Santa than I am of punishment from God, given how God is only able to offer a weak promise of some vague uncertain afterlife, whereas Santa offers physical rewards in the real world. Santa > God
I may be an Atheist, but I believe in Cum. Unlike God, Cum leaves tangible evidence of its existence behind. I'd like to see God leave cum or something. Can't do it, the nonexistent weakling/ I'm more scared of punishment from cum than I am of punishment from God, given how God is only able to offer a weak promise of some vague uncertain afterlife, whereas cum offers cum. Cum > God
A liberal Muslim homosexual ACLU lawyer professor and abortion doctor was teaching a class on Karl Marx, known atheist "Before the class begins, you must get on your knees and worship Marx and accept that he was the most highly-evolved being the world has ever known, even greater than Jesus Christ!"
At this moment, a brave, patriotic, pro-life Navy SEAL champion who had served 1500 tours of duty and understood the necessity of war and fully supported all military decision made by the United States stood up and held up a rock.
"How old is this rock?"
The arrogant professor smirked quite Jewishly and smugly replied "4.6 billion years, you stupid Christian"
"Wrong. It’s been 5,000 years since God created it. If it was 4.6 billion years old and evolution, as you say, is real… then it should be an animal now"
The professor was visibly shaken, and dropped his chalk and copy of Origin of the Species. He stormed out of the room crying those liberal crocodile tears.
The students applauded and all registered Republican that day and accepted Jesus as their lord and savior. An eagle named "Small Government" flew into the room and perched atop the American Flag and shed a tear on the chalk. The pledge of allegiance was read several times, and God himself showed up and enacted a flat tax rate across the country.
The professor lost his tenure and was fired the next day. He died of the gay plague AIDS and was tossed into the lake of fire for all eternity.
Semper Fi
Thank God? God!? God GAVE you cancer. Doctors eliminated your cancer against gods wishes. Thanks the doctors man. And if you can’t, then don’t ever go back to a hospital again. And when ‘god’ gives you cancer again, or heart disease, you better make sure you pray that shit away and don’t you dare go anywhere near a hospital.
This has been growing in me for a while, but the more I see what’s going on in africa and the middle east, and all the bullshit around the world in the name of religion, I’ve gotten to a point where I’m looking at all religious people as not even human. I don’t know if I quite see them as livestock or wild animals or whatever, but it’s pretty close to it. I still don’t understand why people say to respect other people’s religious beliefs. I certainly don’t. I actually think religious beliefs should be mocked, ripped apart, criticized relentlessly, and actually probably be made illegal. I hope to see a future where believers are looked at as mentally ill and mentally retarded, who need to be locked up and treated, or sent to jail. I’m just so disgusted by all of them.