I used to work at an abortion clinic and I saw some extremely fucked up shit there which is why I'm so anti-abortion now. This is just SOME of the horrible stuff I personally witnessed:
• A 23 year old woman came in 11 months into her pregnancy and said "I don't want my stupid baby anymore, kill it" and the doctor said "okay" and he put jumper cables up her baby hole and connected them to a car battery and let it run for six days straight
• A little 8-year old girl wandered in and said "I want an abortion but I am not pregnant" and the doctor said "we'll fix that" and he stole a baby and cut the girl open and put the baby inside her and sewed her shut and then woke the girl up and said "congratulations it's a healthy six year old boy" and the girl said "can I keep him" and the doctor said no and then backed over her in the parking lot with his brand new Ford Raptor
• They made me sign an agreement promising to stop drinking from the medical waste container (I signed somebody else's name)
• One of the doctors there developed a futuristic ray gun that could make anything he shot have an abortion, even trees, cars, or barns
• The receptionist threw nail polish at an elderly man
• The doctor's assistant invented this thing she called "the silly slide" and it was a really fun little water slide that connected a woman's vagina to a paper shredder so a newborn baby could briefly "enjoy the high life"
• The oldest child we aborted was in his late 70s, we didn't even know he was a baby until his wife brought in photos
• The doctors put all sorts of crap up a woman's uterus including a clown nose, bicycle handlebars, a calendar, and an entire Sears retail outlet (before bankruptcy)
• During every successful abortion, the doctor would shout "take that, baby" and he'd push a red button that made sirens go off and confetti fell from the ceiling and we'd all get Del Taco for free
• Sometimes the doctors would play "abortion roulette" where they'd grab a random baby from the waiting room and abort it just for fun
• There was this one patient who came in and said "I want an abortion but I don't want to get my period" and the doctor said "we can do that" and he put a rubber band around her cervix so her period would just go backwards into her body and she died
• The clinic was right next to an Olive Garden and one day the manager of the Olive Garden came in and said "I'm here to talk to you about your music" and the doctor said "what music" and the guy said "the music that's been blaring from your clinic all day and night, it's really disrupting our customers" and the doctor said "oh, that's just the screams of the dying babies" and the guy said "can you turn it down a little" and the doctor said "sure" and he turned up the volume
• We once had a woman come in who was pregnant with quadruplets, and the doctor said "well, we can't very well abort just three of them can we" and so he aborted all four of them
• We had this one patient who came in and she had an abortion and she was really happy and she was like "I feel so much lighter now" and she floated up to the ceiling and we had to get a ladder to get her down
>wife gets pregnant
>Dies in childbirth
>It was a preventable death, but abortion means we would have killed the very alive and conscious fetus, so she has to die instead
>It's a beautiful baby girl with only 8 birth defects that we detected very early (see previous line)
>Raise her on $7.25 an hour as a single parent living out of a tent under a bridge
>She's finally old enough to go to kindergarten, I drop her off on her first day
>Hear a nuclear explosion go off once I'm home
>Remember that it's now legal for 14 year olds to buy nuclear missile launchers online, with prime 2-day shipping
>Governor gets on TV, says something about "kids these days" and their "cyber gaming" and that "maybe if the shooter was part of the NRA things would have been better"
>He holds his NRA platinum membership card up to the camera and smiles
>Pepega
